Saturday, April 2, 2011

Don't Be Limp!

I'm always looking for something interesting to write about and I was inspired this morning while reading one of my favourite blogs.  If you don't already follow you really should.  She's one funny lady and to prove it, she's one of the Circle of Moms top twenty-five funniest bloggers.  She won that honour just this past week.  Congrats Lola!

Anyway back to my own blog.....she mentioned the ickiness that is wimpy handshakes.  This is a huge pet peeve of mine so I decided to expand on the topic here on my own blog.  Why give someone else all the good material in their comment section, right?

There are a few types of wimpy handshake.  Let's look at them:

The Finger Grasp - This is the one where they loosely hold the ends of your fingers for a split second, wiggle then drop them.  What the heck was that?!  It's called a HANDshake you dope, not a fingershake.

Limp Dish Rag - This is the one where you actually manage to get their hand in yours in the proper position but then they go limp.  They don't grasp your hand, they don't shake it, they just let you hold this limp, lifeless thing at the end of their arm until you're ready to let go.  Believe me, I let go pretty quickly!

The WET Noodle - Basically any combination of the above with enough sweat to swim in.  Like, yuck!!  A firm, confident handshake with a slightly sweaty hand, I can live with but there is something about the mix of sweat and limpness that makes my skin crawl. 

If your handshake fits into any of these categories, PLEASE, do something about it!  Your handshake gives people their first impression of you. 

(Okay, your smile does too but we'll get into good oral hygeine another time.)

It tells people whether you're confident or, well, a limp dish rag.  Believe me, your handshake when you meet me stays with me for as long as I know you and colours my opinion of you no matter how great a person you are.  I'm funny that way so, if you know that you're going to meet me, you may want to practice cuz I know that my opinion is important to you.  See how confident I am?  LOL



  1. Thanks for the "shout out" Kat! I'm so glad I could inspire a blog post! I HATE wimpy handshakes...from men AND women! When I encounter one of these handshakes I find that I overcompensate by squeezing the living shit out of the other person's hand, like until they cringe from pain. I guess I'm trying to prove a point. I'm little, but I've opened alot of tough apple juice caps in my day. Usually these people end up believing I'm psychotic and they can't get away fast enough. Fine by me. Losers.

  2. @Lola
    Anytime, Lola! It's better if people think that you're a little psychotic; it keeps the wimpy ones away and, besides, life is more fun that way. LOL

  3. I'd rather have a loose, wimpy handshake, than the Darth Vadar death grip, now my hand is broken handshake any day of the week.

    You have a good point there. There is definitely such a thing as too much grip. Gotta watch out for them too! LOL

  5. I read Lola's post on the handshake. You two are so right. I remember in grade 8, when my teacher was giving us our little "congratulations you're going into grade 9" diplomas, she also taught us how to give a good, tight-gripped handshake. Best lesson I ever learned in life.

  6. @Sandra
    Your teacher did you a great service there. I wonder if teachers realize what students will remember them for years later? I bet some of htem would be surprised.