I had to laugh when I saw Mama Kat’s writing prompt for this week – write a list of 10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county. I like to think that I get a passing grade as a mother but housewife? That’s one test I would definitely fail!
-First of all, I’m not even a wife; I’m an ex-wife. Ex-wives can’t even pretend to be housewives if they want to pay the rent and actually eat unless they score an excellent settlement in the divorce. Sadly, I didn’t.
-One word: dust. The rich housewives that you see on television who have maids and most other, normal, housewives for that matter wouldn’t be caught in a dusty house. I hate dusting. Hate! It! It only happens when I’m having company and want to somewhat impress them. Even then, the effort is really only half-assed. The dust bunnies under my bed all have names……
-I’ve never actually seen any of those “Real” Housewives shows but I they look like the type who “Do Lunch”. Unless meeting at Tim Horton’s for a sandwich and doughnut qualify, I’m not sure that I’d make it past auditions.
-I had a boyfriend in my (way) younger days whose mother actually ironed her sheets. Is that still a thing? If so, I am a failure. My kids consider themselves lucky if the sheets are washed regularly.
-Are organized cupboards a requirement? I have a couple of kitchen cupboards that threaten to vomit their contents if you pull out the wrong thing. My sister-in-law commented that they make great booby-traps. Sadly, she wasn’t wrong.
-The only things that I have successfully kept alive are my kids and cat; only because they make noise and get my attention. No plant has ever entered my home and survived. I took a chance this spring, however, and bought some herbs and a pot of flowers for my balcony. I’m hoping that being outside where Mother Nature can see them will give them a fighting chance.
|Wish them luck!|
-Having a job outside of the home, I’ve been known to take shortcuts at supper time. A good example would be the frozen hamburgers and fries that I whipped up the other night. That doesn’t happen every night, of course, but it’s been known to happen with at least some regularity. Would this change if I was a housewife? Maybe, maybe not……...let’s be honest, probably not.
Okay, I can’t think of ten things. I bet that one of those Real Housewives could easily think of ten reasons why I’m not one of them. I bet that a normal, ordinary housewife in suburbia could also flesh out this list pretty easily too. See, I can’t even make lists like they can! (ooh, that’s the ninth thing!)
I'm terrible at making lists and I've never watched a "Housewife" show either. I rarely do my makeup, I'd never make the cut. Stopping by from Mama Kat's.ReplyDelete
I guess that we're both doomed to a mundane existence......... and I, for one, am totally okay with that ;)Delete
Great post Kathy! You and I both!! I hate dusting. And cleaning bathrooms. But somebody's got to do it sometimes!! Your lists are perfectly 'normal' and funny too. We are REAL!ReplyDelete
You're so nice Barb! If this is "real", then I'm happy and certainly in good company :)Delete
When my husband and I first started dating we lived with his Mom for a bit. Imagine my shock when she asked me to dust the plants, which I did taking about five minutes. When she got home she informed me that was actually a two hour job. Needless to say we didn't live there long....ReplyDelete
Dust the plants?! Is that really a thing? Geez, no wonder plants in my possession die......Delete
The funny thing is a lot of those TV real housewives aren't married either. Nor have I seen them clean. But they do brunch quite a bit!ReplyDelete
I've never actually seen one of those shows so I'm going to trust you on that one. Still, even though I do love brunch, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't quite fit in ;)Delete
Haha! This post is awesome.ReplyDelete
I try to please ;)Delete
"I’m hoping that being outside where Mother Nature can see them will give them a fighting chance." roflmao That's great! And I totally relate. Actually, I'm a little suprised that even my kids have survived...ReplyDelete
I am well known for my black thumb so, sadly, this is not an exaggeration.....Delete
It's a darned good thing that those kids get loud when they're hungry ;)