Friday, June 28, 2013

A Treasured Relationship

I don’t have a big social circle and not even that many close friends.  I’m a pretty shy person and tend to be awkward when meeting people for the first time.  My social circle was bigger when I was still married but they were mostly Stinky’s friends.  He is the outgoing life-of-the-party (one of our problems, actually, but we’ll save that story for another day). 

One of the people who are still very much in my life is my sister-in-law.  Yes, I still think of her as my SIL – I divorced Stinky, not his family!  I’ve mentioned her in this blog in the past as DJ Chick since she had a radio show at the time but I need to find a new blog name for her.

There is no way that you can describe my (ex) in-laws as bland or vanilla.  They are passionate, volatile, intelligent, talented people.  I have had many great times with them and times that left me emotionally/mentally drained.  My SIL and I have had many ups and downs in the past twenty-three years (yikes!) but, in the last few years, seem to have come to a really good place.  She is my friend, my family and a confidante who I know that I can say just about anything to.  We have seen each other at our best and our worst and have a stronger relationship because of it.

When we get together, there tends to be a lot of wine being poured and great food to eat.  We’ll spend an entire afternoon catching up with one another and sharing stories.  I think that she makes me laugh more than anybody I know and boy do I ever need that laugh sometimes.  Laughter is the best medicine after all!  Once in a while, we call each other and say that “I need a dose of you soon”.   As a matter of fact, I sent her just such a text message the other day.  Hopefully we’ll be linking up this weekend.

Our daughters are the same age (only five months apart) and get along really well.  I love that they are close and have a great relationship.  My cousins have always lived so far away that, although we keep in touch and enjoy each other’s company, we’ve never been especially close.  The girls do their cousin-bonding while we ladies retreat to the kitchen with our bottle(s) of wine.  The Boy will come with us sometimes but I think that he sometimes finds there is too much estrogen in the air and makes his own plans. 

Women’s personal relationships with each other can be so complex.  We are very emotional beings and can be highly critical of one another (and ourselves for that matter).  We see this all the time in the blog world; women bashing each other over their parenting choices, their lifestyle choices, their weight and sense of fashion.  You know, the “mommy wars”.  Men just don’t seem to do these things.  This is why we must treasure the close, healthy relationships that we form whether in person or in the online community.  These are the people that lift us up spiritually, emotionally and sometimes even physically.  When we are feeling down about life, about ourselves, they remind us that we are not alone.

Thank you my dear sister-in-law for being part of my life.  If only this rain would clear up, you and I will spend some quality time this weekend grilling some meat on the BBQ and guzzling some wine/beer.  Good times!




  1. So true. I just wrote a similiar post. In fact the one I shared on theresjustonemommy is about the same thing. Maintaining those positive women relationships are think are so vital to our mental well being especially as we enter motherhood.

    1. I definitely agree. I don't have a lot of close friends but the ones that I do have are priceless! Thanks for stopping by :)

  2. Love what you said about divorcing your husband and not his family. I think it is wonderful you remain friends with his sister -- those female bonds we make are so valuable to us!

    1. We've lived through so much together and have this shared past; I can't imagine walking away.

      My blog is small but the people that I have met through blogging and through Twitter have become a part of my personal community that i have really come to appreciate. Thank you for putting out the invitation to share on Facebook and coming to visit :)