Since starting this blog last August, I haven't really shown a knack for posting regularly. You can just call me Ms. Procrastination. You know, "I should really do this but, well, maybe I'll do it tomorrow". I am a master at this; not just with my blog but in all aspects of my life.
The fact that I am hitting the big 4-0 in a couple of weeks is really making me stop and take a look at my life and how I manage it. Usually, I see age as just a number and don't pay much attention but this milestone is really hitting me in a way that I never expected it to. Taking a good hard look at my life, I can't say that I really like what I see. Don't get me wrong, I have two wonderful, healthy children that I wouldn't trade for anything and a solid job that allows me to give my children a decent life and I am thankful for these things. The part that I don't like is far more personal; something within myself.
I always put off or run away from anything remotely uncomfortable be it dealing with a financial problem, an issue with a family member, or something more mundane like housecleaning (dusting is the bane of my existence). I have a tendancy to take the easier path which explains why I have too many pounds on my booty, clutter in my path and stay home far too much rather than put myself out there meeting new people. Heaven forbid I risk rejection!
On a positive note, I have been making some effort at getting out of my shell. Joining up with Twitter and actually interacting with people that I've never met is a huge step for me. The impact of the positive feedback that I feel there has been immense. Look at me, I even started a blog! For someone as intensely private as I am, that is pretty damn amazing! Who knows, I may even go out and meet new people face to face next ;) Will wonders never cease?!
I have never been one to make New Year's resolutions but I think that it's time to make a "life" resolution this year, the year of my fortieth birthday. It's time to get my life in order; improve my finances, strengthen the friendships in my life, clean out the clutter, spend more quality time with my kids....maybe even find someone to fill the empty side of my bed. I also resolve to post on this blog at least once a week. Maybe I'll use it to chronicle this "year of self-improvement".
It'll be interesting to see where these lofty goals take me. For now, I think that I'll start slowly by washing the dishes and getting my son moving on that project he has due at school. Baby steps......
Kat
I have enjoyed interacting with you on Twitter, Kat. I, too, have a problem with procrastination and vow to work on this. I wish you luck on finding that special guy. It's been about a year and a half since I awoke next to someone in bed, and I truly miss that. Good luck on everything in 2010!
ReplyDelete