Cut the drama lady! NaBloPoMo - Day 4

There is a lady whose blog I read on and off and who I follow on Facebook.  She blogs without using her real name or those of her family so is fairly free to talk as she pleases.  This week, she has been talking about the visit of a family member who she refers to as the "drama llama" for all of the drama and stress that she brings with her.  This woman, apparently, just winds everyone up.

I try really hard to not give advice to people who are facing issues in their life because, let's face it, my life isn't a stellar example of perfection.  That being said, I wish that I could take her aside and tell her to distance herself from toxic people - related or not.  This woman is a toxic influence in her life and she owes it to herself to not allow this.

I did this with my own mother.  In the last seven or eight years or so before she died last year, I distanced myself from her as much as possible.  I only laid eyes on her a few times a year and, even then, only for a couple of hours or so.

It was liberating!

There wasn't anybody putting down my feelings.  There wasn't anybody gossiping about me to anybody who would listen.  Best of all?  My kids, for the most part, didn't have her toxic effect in their lives.

Nobody looks at my kids when they express feelings that are different and tells them "don't be so silly".  Nobody has taught them that it's better to be quiet than to risk being shot down for their opinion.  Nobody has destroyed their self-esteem.

I don't claim to be a perfect parent but my greatest hope is that my kids won't grow up to call me a toxic influence on their lives.

I wondered if I would have regrets about the distance that I put between her and I once she was gone but I don't.  I did what was best for my own sanity and for my kids' well being.  No regrets there.

If I felt comfortable advising my bloggy friend, I would tell her that nobody has the right to make her life miserable; that she has the right to say "enough!".  Maybe she'll eventually reach that conclusion herself or perhaps she'll find a better way to deal with her drama llama.  Either way, I look forward to applauding when she finds her way.

What am I thankful for today?  The fact that I was able to leave work at a normal time today after yesterday's very long day.  C'est le weekend!

Kathy

Throwback Thursday NaBloPoMo - Day 3

I had a VERY long day at work today; not leaving until 7:40.  It was an eleven hour workday for me.  Yes, I did order out food for supper and, yes, I do intend to hand the receipt for that meal to the boss tomorrow.  I definitely deserve it.

I don't have the energy or brainpower left for a really proper post so how about a Throwback Thursday pic?

This is one of my favourite pictures of me with my lovely late sister-in-law Kim.  It was a time before I had kids.  I was much younger than I am now and sitting on a terrasse in Old Montreal with my SIL drinking sangria was pretty much a perfect way of spending a summer afternoon.

She has been gone for almost fifteen years now and I still think of her often.  She had a knack for bringing plenty of drama to our lives but she also brought a lot of love and so many laughs and good times.

What am I thankful for today?  I'm a bit overloaded at work right now (hence the long day) but I am grateful to have that job.  There are so many who don't have one or don't have a good one.

Kathy

He's Out! NaBloPoMo Challenge - Day 2

Well, I mentioned the other day that my son, Z,  has moved out with his buddy.  I have my misgivings about it starting with WHO he moved out with right up to the fact that I really want to see him go back to school but I have decided that, while I have made my misgivings known, I really have to step back and let him learn his own lessons.  As a mother who wants him to do well, it's hard, but I have to do it.

He and M (his bud) took over M's brother's lease and moved in a few weeks ago.  Between differing work schedules and other things going on, I only got to go see the place for the first time a couple of days ago.  He was very proud to show it off and, believe me, I had to try hard to remember how proud I was of my first place.

It's a basement apartment so isn't the brightest but it is a good size and boy could it use maid service! It wasn't as bad as I had expected but those kitchen counters, among other things, needed a good wiping.  That's what you get when you have two 18 year olds living together.  Despite this, he is very proud of himself and I guess that I don't blame him.  He does know how to clean though so I'm sure that he'll get the hang of keeping a place decent without me telling him to soon enough.

There is one more, temporary, roomate, though.  M's brother has left his snake there for now while he gets settled in his new place.

Hey lady, whatchu lookin' at?

Thank goodness that thing was in an aquarium, behind glass...... ((shudder))

What am I thankful for today? My beautiful daughter who is sitting behind working on her project for school. I love how she has become so engaged in school!

Kathy

Let's Get This Started! NaBloPoMo Challenge - Day 1

A few years ago, I took part in the NaBloPoMo challenge.  For those who haven't heard of it before, this takes place each November and, basically, it's a challenge to post on your blog every day for the entire month.  You can use their prompts or you can write about whatever you wish.  It was hard but I did it and felt great about it.

In my effort to get my blog going again, I have decided to take the challenge again.  I don't intend to link up my posts to their site like I did last time since it goes against my new goals for this blog but I'm still going to push myself.

Some posts will be shorter than others, and I fully intend to take advantage of a couple of Wordless Wednesdays, but I will be here.  Okay, I hope that I will be here.  No pressure Kathy!!

My hope is that this will exercise my writing muscles which have definitely shrunk a bit in the last year or so.  I predict that I will use this as a bit of a diary at the end of each day talking about my day and, perhaps, things that I've seen in the news though I will try to stay away from politics.  There is enough chatter about that online already!  I'm not even American and I am so totally over this nasty election campaign.


What am I thankful for today?  Given that it's the day after Halloween, let's keep it light and be thankful for the bowl of candy on my table that will keep me bouncing off the walls for a while ;)

Kathy