Tuesday, July 15, 2014

A letter to myself

“It’s time to start dating again but, before you do, you write a letter to yourself.  Write that letter.”

I got this writing prompt from Indie Chick Lit to use on my fiction blog but decided that it would be better over here where I “keep it real” and talk about life.  Obviously, I’ve been single for quite a long while now so I’m writing this with a lot of hindsight from lessons learned.

Dear Me,

Let’s just state the obvious – dating is tough.  You don’t want to meet a guy in a bar.  This is where the drinkers hang out and you’ve had enough of that crap to last a lifetime.  You don’t have a huge circle of friends so you don’t tend to go to many parties or get-togethers.  You don’t belong to any groups or associations where you could meet people.  These are big hindrances.

Then you have the online dating sites.  You can meet some nice people there but there are more losers than winners in that world.  Well, I suppose there are plenty of duds to be met in person as well but at least you can weed them out a little bit more easily in person. 

However you go about meeting guys, here are a few tips:

-never, EVER, date a man who is married or otherwise attached.  You deserve to be his “#1”.  You’re smart enough to understand this one without any more explanation.

-make sure that a man respects you enough to actually call sometimes and not just text.  If he’s really into you, he should want to hear your voice.

-if all he ever wants to do is get together at your place and not go out and do things, he’s either…… a) married/attached without telling you or  b) has no interest in actually dating you; only in “hook-ups”.

-speaking of hook-ups, try to stay away from them.  They’re not healthy, physically or emotionally.  They might be fun at the time but, without any real friendship behind them, are really pretty empty experiences.

-if you don’t feel respected then you probably aren’t being respected.  Go with your gut; it’s always a mile ahead of your brain and two miles ahead of your heart.

-be happy with yourself.  A person who is not happy in her own company cannot expect anyone else to be attracted to her. 

You’ll meet a few nice people along the way as well as a few not so nice ones.  That’s how life is.  One of these days, though, the right one will come along and you’ll have found your partner.  Until then, enjoy life; get out there, laugh and live well.

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