Feeling like an adult

I'm feeling very adult these days.  How did that happen?  Wasn't I a teenager just yesterday?

I had this very conversation with somebody recently.  I hadn't seen her since we were kids.  Her sister and I were in the same class together and were quite close when we were young.  Sadly, the occasion of this little reunion wasn't a happy one; it was her father's funeral.  Her mother was kind enough to come pay her respects when my mother died last year so I felt the need to repay that kindness when her husband passed away last month.

See?  There I go being an adult.  I hadn't seen this man in over thirty years although I do have very vivid memories of him from my childhood so my presence there certainly wouldn't have been expected.

D and I marvelled at how we are now the mothers of teenagers (turns out our daughters go to the same school, same grade and know each other!) but, on a lot of days we feel like kids ourselves.  We agreed that this adulting gig is a tough one sometimes.

Another reason for feeling adult?  My son turned 18 recently.  I used to call him The Boy on this blog but that doesn't really fit anymore so let's make him Z now (first letter of his name).  At the same time  as he turned 18, he also moved out with a friend.  Talk about a double whammy on his poor momma! I have reasons other than the fact that it makes me feel old to not like this move but I couldn't exactly stop him.  I considered chaining him to my balcony and throwing him the occasional bread crust but I was advised that this may be a wee bit illegal.  Damn......

I'll disown him if he introduces me to his new friend!

I guess that another part of being an adult, and parent, is letting your kids make their own mistakes and learn from them.  He knows that I will always be here for him and that my home is his home if he needs it.  He would, of course, pay rent if he comes back without going back to school.  I love him but I'm not stupid!

My daughter - let's call her E now instead of The Girl - is in her final year of high school (Grade 11 here) and it's all happening way too quickly for me.  She is so excited to graduate and go on to bigger and better things when I just want her to stay young for a little while longer.  She's talking about going into nursing and seems to know what she wants.  Even if she's making me feel a bit old, I am so damned proud of who she is becoming.

Look who got herself another ear piercing!

Time is flowing by far too quickly for my liking but I can't seem to stop it.  I had no problem hitting forty but I get the feeling that hitting fifty in a few years is going to be a tough one.  I could very well be a full-fledged empty nester by then.  Someone please hold me....... adulting is indeed hard.

What am I thankful for today?  The fact that I am still here to see these amazing kids become amazing adults.

Kathy