My mother died just over a week ago.
I won't say that we had a "complicated" relationship because, honestly, there really wasn't much of a relationship.
Still...... the way she lived the last few years was sad.
The way she died - alone - was sad.
I have plenty to be bitter about and could be very negative.
I chose instead to let go and walk away; it saved my sanity (mostly anyway).
Still...... I am now dealing with the aftermath of a life not well-lived.
There are debts and dirt to deal with.
No assets except for her cat which is living under my daughter's bed at the moment.
I didn't even know the cat's name for sure until we found the vet records.
How damned sad is that?
The outpouring of sympathy and condolences from friends and acquaintances has been so nice
Most of the well-wishers don't realize the emotional distance between us and I, mostly, keep it to myself
It's easier to just say "Thank you"
So........ thank you.
Kathy, I don't know what to say.ReplyDelete
I feel so much emotion in what is unwritten in between these fifteen lines.
Just know that I'm holding you close in my heart and in my thoughts as you go through this. xoxoxo
Thank you very much. You're right, there is a lot unsaid here. It's probably better that way.Delete
When my mom died a wise, older friend told me that no matter how old we are, no matter the relationship. we are never ready to lose our mothers. It sounds like there is much room for regret in your situation, and I am glad to hear that you are wise enough to know that letting it go is the best thing you can do for yourself. The bitterness would only hurt you. Wishing you peace.ReplyDelete
Our mothers affect our whole lives - for better or for worse - regardless of how long they are with us. My mother's death was sudden and rather jarring regardless of our relationship. Thank you for your thoughtsDelete
Hi Kathy, I clicked over the comments on TheJackB. I think I read it differently knowing what you help back, I can see the big picture. My condolences to you on hope to getting some closure on that big picture so that YOU can have a live well lived.ReplyDelete
Thank you for stopping by Kenya. This is definitely a time of reflection for me that I'm hoping will teach me a lesson or two.Delete
I haven't lost a parent yet and I have been lucky that my relationship with both have been pretty good.ReplyDelete
But I imagine that no matter what it's hard to say goodbye because our parents play such a big role. Sorry for your loss.
Thank you Jack. I'm glad that you have a good relationship with your parents. No matter what our relationship with our parents is, they certainly do play a profound role in our lives.Delete
What a tragic end to what should have been one of your strongest relationships. I'm sure she taught you a lot about what kind of mother you want to be for your own kids.ReplyDelete
You're absolutely right about that! It's sad but true.Delete
I have a friend going through a similar situation. So heartbreaking. You are in my prayers friend.ReplyDelete
Thank you Betsy, I really appreciate it.Delete