Thursday, April 10, 2014

Reflection

When I look at my reflection I see a forty-four year old woman.   This woman has a few wrinkles creeping up around her eyes and a few grey hairs (thankfully only a few!).   After over four decades of happy, sad, stress and hard work, these things are to be expected.  Hers is not a life of leisure. 

When I look at my reflection I see a woman who wasn’t exactly thin before she had two babies and, given her sad lack of impulse control, will probably never be thin. She may work on this but, for the moment, basically accepts herself as she is.

When I look at my reflection I see a woman whose best and prettiest feature is her smile.  She shows that smile off as often as possible even when she isn't totally "feeling" it because it feels good when people smile back.


When I look at my reflection I see a mother, daughter, niece, cousin, aunt, ex-wife, sister-in-law, friend and coworker who treasures all of these things but, some days, still isn’t entirely sure what she wants to be when she grows up. 

When I look at my reflection, I see a woman who feels more confident and likes herself better now than her younger self did.  She's still a bit insecure sometimes but is working to get past that.

When I look at my reflection, I see a woman who, despite having family and friends to love, is lonely and sometimes aches for a partner.  Sadly, the dating scene has proven too damned depressing…..

When I look at my refection, I see a woman who needs to get out more and experience life before she turns into a crazy cat lady.  Now that spring truly seems to be on the way, perhaps she'll work on that.



That woman in the mirror is complicated and needs improvement in some areas but she's not so bad.  I think that I like her.

Kathy

(post inspired by Mama Kat's Writing Prompts)

10 comments:

  1. Growing older is hard. Loving yourself is hard. Getting out there is hard. But you can do it. It seems like with your attitude you have a great start. Happy Spring and here's to "getting out there!" Visiting from Mama Kat's!

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    1. I have been working on lifting my attitude and being self-accepting. There are a lot of great things to do in the city when the good weather hits and I'm hoping to take advantage of them :)

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  2. Hi - I found this on Bloppy Bloggers and can relate to a lot of it. I am 38, but have way more gray hair than you and the empty bag of m&ms next to me right now can vouch for my impulse control (don't even get me started on pretzel m&ms). If you keep putting yourself out there for the world, good things will come back to you when you least expect it and maybe in a package that is nothing like what you were expecting. Cheers!

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    1. OMG, pretzel M&M's!

      I am a big believer that we get what we give so I'm working on that and hopefully something (someone) nice will come my way. You never know :)

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  3. Love this! I am really working at loving that girl in the mirror.

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    1. It's a hard road but a worthy one Betsy

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  4. It seems to me that you have admirable confidence! I wish I were more confident in myself. I like you am not sure what I want to be when I grow up, the options are too many to pick just one! Enjoyed reading your post on reflection.

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    1. What confidence I have is the result of hard work and many pep talks to myself. I admit that I have to fake it some days but I'm making progress

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  5. Such a raw honest post I love this one! Thanks for opening up and sharing it's beautiful and so are you!

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    1. Thank you so much. I really dug deep for this one and it felt good to hit "publish"

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