Last night we had a big joint birthday party for our kids. Their birthdays are about two weeks apart and two parties so close together are exhausting so we decided to try a new route this year. It worked out really well; no drowning, no bloodshed and plenty of smiling faces on departure. Phew! The other thing that happened last night is that I was reminded of what a great dad my ex-husband is. Watching him doing cannonballs off the diving board, looking like a drunk walrus and thoroughly entertaining the kids, I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for.
Now, don't get me wrong, he is my EX-husband for good reasons which I'll save for another post; perhaps when he pisses me off (muah-ha-ha-haaa). Since our split he has, however, truly stepped up to bat as a father. At first, I put my hurt and anger aside for the kids' sake in order to be able to parent them with him but, working in this new form of partnership, we actually managed to rediscover our friendship. This has an awful lot to do with his behaviour.
I hear about so many dads who don't exercise their visitation right, who don't make their child support payments or who move on to their "new" families without looking back and find myself so grateful. Stinky and I have shared custody, each of us having the kids every other week and he has never failed to take them when he is supposed to. He also takes his financial responsibilies very seriously; never missing any payment and even giving a little extra help when I've been a bit short.
He also has the most amazing girlfriend. He and SM have been together for three years now and I couldn't ask for a better step-mom for my kids. She is loving, attentive and has a family that has accepted my kids as two of their own. She has become a great third partner in this parenting team. I know, the ex-wife isn't supposed to get along with her ex's current lady so well but SM and I do really well. We respect each other and rarely "step on each other's toes". When that does happen, we all get along well enough to be able to say it and deal with it. The three of us can be seen at all sporting events, music concerts and celebrations.
I know that this blog entry hasn't been humourous and I hope that I haven't bored anyone to death but I guess that I just needed to express what is on my mind this morning. I see so many blogs and hear so many stories about dads that fall down on the job that, for once, I thought it might be nice to put something out there that is positive.
Thank you Stinky, for being who you are.
This is so nice to hear. It isn't often that we hear about situations involving divorce where the families have figured it out and worked toward a common goal... The kids. Kudos to you all.ReplyDelete
My kids birthdays are two days apart. I'm totally grouping them together, and to make it worse they are 10 days outside of Christmas so they'll be getting the Christmas shaft too.ReplyDelete
That's great that Stinky pulls his weight so well. My parents did well by us when they split, but they wouldn't talk to each other for anything unless they absolutely had too.
That's great that you and your ex AND his GF get along so well. Someday your kids will thank you for it.ReplyDelete
Happy belated b-day to your kiddos!