Monday, February 17, 2014

Getting back in the saddle

I have been completely off the blogging grid for two weeks.  Sorry.

Yep, that's about right….
I have been experiencing a stressful time and have needed a chance to process it.  Things have kind of exploded at my ex's place leading to The Boy ending up with me full time (only for the moment, I hope).  Relations over there have been rather strained lately so I suppose the writing was on the wall. 

I have been struggling with how to handle this subject on my blog.  If I start going into the details and explaining the situation, I could end up bad-mouthing those involved.  Believe me, I'm plenty angry and upset enough with the whole lot of them.  The problem with this is that I would be breaking one of my own rules.  I do NOT bad-mouth the people in my life on this blog.  That's not what it is all about.  The occasional snide comment aimed at a celebrity or public figure is one thing; they are already in the public realm and can take it (some even invite it) but a regular person from my private life?  No.

Let's just say that there is enough blame to go around and leave it at that.

How am I handling it?  I'm angry, upset, stressed and feeling totally helpless.  I have always stayed out of their business over there knowing that sticking my nose in would be stepping on Stinky and his girlfriend's toes.  The fact that our son has been banished to my place, however, makes it my business.  All of a sudden, on the week when the kids are usually in their father's hands and I've been free to do as I please, there has been a teenager, who I am responsible for, underfoot.  Don't get me wrong, I love both of my children with all of my heart and would never turn either of them away but I also enjoy my "alone" time when I can come and go as I please and even walk around the apartment naked if I choose to (get THAT picture out of your head, lol!).  They (Stinky, The GF and The Boy) have taken a path that makes decisions about my life without me having any say in it.  Not one word!

I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt and offering observations on the situation that I hope he has taken into consideration.  I say "I hope" because he has not responded.  I haven't done a face-to-face with him yet because I'm upset enough that I know that I'll end up a big teary, snotty mess and that isn't exactly a "power position" now is it?   I'm basically sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what comes next.     

I've decided to step back from the online course that I started because the pressure of keeping up with that on top of the stress that I'm already experiencing is just too much.  I'm going to try to get back on the horse and at least "audit" it - following along without the pressure of assignments and tests - because I truly am interested.

I'm also going to get back on track with blogging.  This coming Saturday, I'm participating in a book tour for the talented JC Little so I need to move my butt on that one.  Please come visit to see my review.  There will even be prizes! 

Thanks for listening to me complain

Kat

6 comments:

  1. Complain away. We all have stuff in our lives that makes us feel crazy, it's especially hard when you aren't able to control any part of it. :( My thoughts are with you.

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    1. Thanks Betsy, I appreciate that. I'm trying hard to not dwell on things (or people) that I can't control but it's awfully hard when it's my kid involved. I'm just trying to be there for him and guide him the best way that I can.

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  2. I certainly hope that things get resolved at their house and for you. I can only imagine your son is very confused. I feel terrible that I've been MIA from blogging too but life happens, right? Lots of hugs and just breathe!

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    1. Thank you Barb. He's seen his dad a couple of times and it's been okay, if a little strained. I feel like I'm tiptoeing in a minefield though. You're right, though......breathe...... in, out.... in, out ;)

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  3. Sometimes I just writing venting posts for myself. Just for the therapy of writing but then never hit publish. I hope everything works out.

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    1. Thanks Angela. You know, that's actually a pretty good idea; an updated version of writing a letter that you never intend to send and then burning it.

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