Sunday, April 17, 2011

Snakes and Boys

I was reading a new post by Wendy at Are You Breathing ( about a visit to a friend of theirs who is a vet with quite a collection of reptiles.  The pictures of her boys' fascination with the snakes reminded me of a story of my own.

Yes, I am occasionally inspired by other blogs that I read.  After all, aren't we all here to connect with and inspire each other?

When Scout Boy was five he went to the birthday party of one of his kindergarten classmates.  This was one of his first parties so he was still at the stage where he wanted me to stay.  There were several other parents that stayed too so that was fine.

(Now, at twelve, he would die a million deaths if I ever stayed at a party.....sigh)

This party took place at their house with video games, a movie, plenty of know, the usual.  The unusual part is that they had this huge snake that might as well have been twenty feet long for the chills that it sent up my spine but, in reality, was probably only about two or three feet long.  (Un)Fortunately, the birthday party happened to fall on the day that the snake was due for a feeding so this became a party activity.

The mom took a frozen mouse out and warmed it in the microwave.  Thank goodness it wasn't alive or I might have puked on my shoes!  Once it was ready, she put the snake in an aquarium on the coffee table and called the boys up from the basement.  She told them what she was doing, arranged them on the floor in a circle around the table and put the mouse in the tank.

You have never seen a dozen five/six year old boys THAT quiet for THAT long....... EVER!  They kneeled in around that tank with open-mouthed, wide-eyed fascination for the entire time that it took for the snake to take in that mouse.  Most of us parents sat far back, watching from a distance.  Our stomachs are obviously far more delicate than our offsprings'.

When it was done, my beautiful boy, grinning from ear to ear, eyes shining, came running over to me and said "Mommy, Mommy, it ate the BUM last"  followed by a fit of giggles



Saturday, April 16, 2011

So much like his dad....

I am coming to the realization that Scout Boy, as he gets older, is getting to be more and more like his father.  He has always looked like him but I'm starting to hear it coming from his mouth.  I got an excellent example of this yesterday. 

Let's back up for a second here.  Last week, he asked me if I had "a USB thing" for my computer.  Silly me, I thought he was asking me if it had USB ports so, of course, I said yes. 

So, he came over yesterday from his dad's place to pick up something and asked me for the USB key for his school project.  When I told him I don't have one, he went all red in the face, the scowl appeared and tears stood out in his eyes.  That scowl was pure Stinky.  This kid was seriously channelling his father.

Him - "Mommy, you SAID that you have one!"
Me - "If you had been a little more clear in your question, I would have given you the right answer"
Him - "But I WAS clear!"  (followed by a frustrated growl deep in his throat)

Wait, I thought that I divorced this guy.......and how did he turn himself into a twelve-year-old?  Stinky has the most terrible habit of asking unclear questions or mumbling at you as he walks away then getting all frustrated when it becomes clear that you didn't get the message.

I sent him out the door with the instruction to ask his Dad if he has one; if not, his father can buy him one.  I'm generous like that ;)

He called me a while later saying that his step-mom has one but do I have Powerpoint on my computer?  I said yes.......a pause...... (insert condescending tone) "Are you sure Mommy, we don't want a repeat of the whole USB thing".  Huh? How did my ex-husband get on the phone?

Don't get me wrong, Stinky has many fine qualities that I certainly want our kids to inherit but there are qualities and habits that we both have that I'd rather they don't pick up.  I guess that these conversations have really pointed out to me just how influential we are in our kids' lives.  After all, we are their primary role models.  Maybe it's time to improve some of our habits.......


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Big Day for Drama Queen

Well, yesterday was a big day for my little Drama Queen.  She got her ears pierced.  She's been playing with the idea for about a year now but kept on backing off at the idea that it might hurt.  Her daddy didn't mind this a bit.  You see, she's ten now and the closer she gets to her teen years the more nervous Stinky gets.  The idea of his little girl growing into a young lady gives him hives.  This is no surprise since this is the man who vowed to not let her date until she turned thirty-five back on the day that she was born.

Anyway, a couple of nights ago, she approached me and said that she was ready and wanted to do it.  I could sense a certain firmness to her request that told me she wasn't backing down this time.  I emailed Stinky get his okay and told him to talk it over with his girlfriend/partner SM (I knew she'd be on our side!).  Well we got the green light and the delighted squeal that this news brought almost broke my eardrum! 

Waiting until Saturday was out of the question so we trooped over after work on Friday.  Well, what happened was probably the funniest thing that I've seen in ages!  It started out normally enough; the lady let her choose the studs that she wanted, then sat her down to mark the spots with a marker so that the holes would be straight.  Drama Queen was fine through this though she did look kind of nervous.  When the lady came towards her with the piercing tool, she reached out for my hand (damn, how can I take a picture this way!) and her face totally changed.  Her mouth turned down, she went pale and her eyes brimmed with tears.  She was totally still since we told her to be but she looked like she was about to start sobbing as the hand with the tool took aim. 

Here's the funny part; as soon as the click was heard, her whole face transformed and she busted out a HUGE smile.  It was like a light switch had been been turned on.  All that nervousness and fear of the unknown had been for nothing and that quick, relatively painless "click" had completely dispelled the clouds in half a second.  The transformation was so fast that both I and the lady doing the piercing burst out laughing at the suddenness.

She grinned through the second piercing and hasn't stopped grinning ever since.  She called her dad and step-mom and gushed the news to them when we got home.  Stinky, being a guy, didn't have too much to say about the whole thing but SM made up for it, sharing her joy and enthusiasm.

Our little girl is growing up so quickly.  We've done the training bra milestone and now the ear piercing one and there are so many more to come.  I think that I'm ready but SM and I may have to drag Stinky along by the ears.  It's worth it so see such happiness.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Don't Be Limp!

I'm always looking for something interesting to write about and I was inspired this morning while reading one of my favourite blogs.  If you don't already follow you really should.  She's one funny lady and to prove it, she's one of the Circle of Moms top twenty-five funniest bloggers.  She won that honour just this past week.  Congrats Lola!

Anyway back to my own blog.....she mentioned the ickiness that is wimpy handshakes.  This is a huge pet peeve of mine so I decided to expand on the topic here on my own blog.  Why give someone else all the good material in their comment section, right?

There are a few types of wimpy handshake.  Let's look at them:

The Finger Grasp - This is the one where they loosely hold the ends of your fingers for a split second, wiggle then drop them.  What the heck was that?!  It's called a HANDshake you dope, not a fingershake.

Limp Dish Rag - This is the one where you actually manage to get their hand in yours in the proper position but then they go limp.  They don't grasp your hand, they don't shake it, they just let you hold this limp, lifeless thing at the end of their arm until you're ready to let go.  Believe me, I let go pretty quickly!

The WET Noodle - Basically any combination of the above with enough sweat to swim in.  Like, yuck!!  A firm, confident handshake with a slightly sweaty hand, I can live with but there is something about the mix of sweat and limpness that makes my skin crawl. 

If your handshake fits into any of these categories, PLEASE, do something about it!  Your handshake gives people their first impression of you. 

(Okay, your smile does too but we'll get into good oral hygeine another time.)

It tells people whether you're confident or, well, a limp dish rag.  Believe me, your handshake when you meet me stays with me for as long as I know you and colours my opinion of you no matter how great a person you are.  I'm funny that way so, if you know that you're going to meet me, you may want to practice cuz I know that my opinion is important to you.  See how confident I am?  LOL