For the first time in quite a while, I’m taking part in Mama
Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.
A post inspired by the word – challenge.
I haven’t written any post in a long time. This isn’t because I didn’t want to.
I wanted to……
I just didn’t know what to say.
I ran out of words.
If I was sad, I could have cried about that and made you
feel sorry for me.
If I was truly happy, I could have shared that joy with you
and made you smile.
I think that the best description of my state of mind in the
last six months or so has been “blah”; not thrilled with life, not miserable,
not angry.
Just blah.
I’ve missed my bloggy friends but haven’t been able to pull
myself out of the cloud that’s been surrounding my head to reach out and share
in this wonderful community.
I need to find a way to challenge myself into feeling alive
again. I’m not sure how I’ll do it but a
way must be found because “blah” is not the way to live. It has to be something that comes from me;
nobody else can do it for me. Maybe I
should take a class, change jobs, look for a hobby, make some lifestyle change,
get laid…… I don’t know. Maybe that
decision alone is the first challenge.
Or maybe the first challenge should be getting back on the
horse with blogging.
I don’t know but I’ll figure it out because I think that
maybe 45 is a bit old to not know what to do with myself.
Perhaps this is a mid-life crisis.
How the hell did I get old enough to utter that phrase?!
Time flies……
Kathy
We all go through periods of "blah." And for what it's worth, not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life is pretty common. I've been trying to "find myself" for years. Getting back to blogging seems like a good first step!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the commiseration Andrea. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who is a little bit lost.
DeleteIf your blahs have gone on this long maybe it's time to see a doctor or a therapist. I hope you don't think I have spoken out of turn…I suffer from major depression at times so I am aware of the symptoms. I can't write on my blog either when I'm depressed, that's one of my signs!
ReplyDeleteYou may well have a good point; it's something I've thought of myself. I think that, for now, I'll see if I can make some positive changes to uplift myself but, if I find myself unable to, I'll consider some help. Thank you for commenting!
DeleteBeing uncertain can hit you at any age. I guess it is a wake up call for one to refocus on what is important and do a reassessment of the current situation. Hope to see more blog post for you in the near future.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dominique! I'm certainly going to try to get back on the horse here. That would be a good first step.
DeleteOhhh, I was there just a couple of months ago. Lost my blog mojo. I host a weekend blog hop, so I kept up with that, but nothing else. It's been coming back a little at a time. Yours will come back, too!
ReplyDeleteI'll probably try to rejoin a couple of the link-ups that I enjoy and get back in the game that way. I think that as long as I keep it fun and don't force it, I'll be okay. Thanks for the support :)
DeleteI understand your "blah". I hit the blah the second year after my daughter's death. It's been a super big challenge to get back the energy and excitement I once had. I guess the best way to do it is just take it one day at a time. It will eventually come back. Best of luck to you.
ReplyDeleteI think that much of my "blah" is coming from the fact that my kids are getting older and don't need me so much. What do I do with myself now? I'll figure it out if I give myself a chance. Thanks for stopping by :)
DeleteI'm really sorry that you're stuck in this place. I've been there more times than not and can relate to your frustration and that feeling of being lost. Just know that it is temporary. Take each day at a time. Focus on the small things that you are doing and accomplishing and are enjoying.
ReplyDeleteI like one commentor's suggestion about joining in a blog hop - those really do help get the writing mojo going. There is one on the weekend called the Ten Things of Thankful (hosted by Lizzi from Considerings it's #10Thankful on twitter) - I do that one a lot. It is a gratitude hop and it is so helpful when you're down and in need of focusing on the good in your life. I have bipolar disorder and currently running the gamut of depression (I'm not saying that is what you have at all!!!!) and that hop helps me see the positive.
I hope that things get better for you soon. Hang in there xoxo
I've seen Lizzi's posts before and, you're right, they are a great idea to help us gain perspective on what's important. I like to think that I am pretty grateful for what I have; I've just been asking myself "is this it?" Sometimes I feel like there should be something "more". I will indeed take this time of contemplation one day at a time. Thanks
DeleteI definitely have moments where I step back and panic a little. Is this it? What am I going to be doing five years from now...making YouTube videos still? I try to slow my brain down and just take things one day at a time otherwise I'll completely overwhelm myself. I'm glad to see you peeking in again!
ReplyDeleteI think that the changing of the seasons can be tough for many of us - a little like - ummmm...and now what? There's this change out there, and what am I doing? I've been feeling it a lot lately myself. And i too have no idea what I'm doing. I'm tired of not knowing. It feels like there has to be more to it than this.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you find what you're looking for in the coming days.
It helps me to have prompts to work from, so I am using Mama Kats, even some of her vlogging prompts make great blog posts.
ReplyDelete