….. I would tell my younger self to work harder at overcoming her innate shyness and forge more close friendships.
When I was younger, I had little self-confidence and was painfully shy with people that I didn't know. I still am, to a certain extent, but have been trying to work on that. During the years that I was married to Stinky, there were always people around and we had a pretty decent social circle but the problem is that they were people that he drew to us. He is an extrovert extraordinaire! He draws people in so I never had to work at having people around me. Unfortunately this meant that, when we separated, a lot of those "friends" stayed with him and I was left with a very small social circle. Blink as they go by and you might miss them.
It's funny, there were always people around our house or some social thing to go to and I would actually get annoyed but, now, sometimes I miss it. I guess it's all about perspective.
I do have friends though. It's not like I'm a totally isolated hermit with noone but her cat. We're talking about quality over quantity in my case. Not a bad thing, when you think about it. I've stumbled around a bit over the years, learning how to cultivate and keep friendships. It's not as easy as you would think watching my ex work his magic but I'm getting there. I only wish that I had worked harder at that skill when I was younger. Teaching this old dog new tricks is tough.
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| No flowers yet but we're getting there! |
I'm a work in progress but, then again, aren't we all?
Kathy
I was totally shy when I was younger. Don't know what happened, because I am definitely not anymore, but still was so shy as a kid. And do hope you enjoy the warmer weather and your friendships now, too :)
ReplyDeleteI think that age brings the wisdom to know that rejection isn't the end of the world and that gives us the guts to put ourselves out there a bit more. Some of us are slower to learn that lesson than others.
DeleteIt's my mission to get out more this year and perhaps give that BBQ more of a workout. It's good have goals ;)
I was very shy when I was younger, and still am to a certain degree now. I met a lot of people through my husband. It's super hard to make friends where I live so I don't know how else I would've met these people. I totally get it.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know that it's not just me. Thanks for the commiseration :)
DeleteAh, the old "If I could go back in time" question. I'm not sure what I'd do differently. It seems to me that I wound up where I was supposed to be :)
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting exercise but, I agree, I don't think I would it either. I wouldn't want to risk erasing all of the good things.
DeleteYes, we are all works in progress. I was painfully shy up until about my junior year of high school. I'm not sure how it happened, or I'd share the secret with you. I think though, and even have to remind myself today, that it helps to remember that everybody has hangups and insecurities and feels awkward in so many social situations. I try to tell myself that the people I find intimidating are just people too. Sometimes, it works. Enjoying the warmer weather sounds wonderful and cheers to having a glass of wine (or three) outdoors!
ReplyDeleteAs I've gotten older (and wiser), I've come to realize that those people who I found intimidating are people like me with their own insecurities. That has definitely helped me a lot even if I'm still working at it.
DeleteThat would be a good one for me to go back and work on as well! I have a handful of very close friends, but they are scattered across the globe. Not so many local friends where I am at this point. It tends to vary from place to place - work friends, good friends, lunch friends, etc... would be nice to have one of those "close" relationships locally! :(
ReplyDeleteIt's so important to have someone who you can truly talk to but it can be so hard to foster that kind of closeness. It's a lot of work but really worth it. I hope you find that special friendship
DeleteWhen I got a divorce, it was really hard to accept how much that changed my social life. I wanted to believe things could stay the same, but I felt like I had to start all over in some ways. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteA divorce affects every aspect of our lives and can strip us of social support that we never expected to lose. It truly is a fresh start is so many ways - some good, some not so good….
DeleteI feel like it has been a lot harder as I have gotten older to make really good friends. You really have to make an effort to sustain them too. Have a lovely spring!
ReplyDeleteThat effort can be so hard with everything else going on in our lives but is worth it.
DeleteThe coming spring certainly makes everything seem brighter. You enjoy it too :)
I totally feel like a work in progress some days. Change is hard!! Going from "our" friends to his and my friends has been really hard on me...
ReplyDeleteIt really is one of the hardest things. It feels like you've lost some of your support structure. This kind of thing really shows you who you can count on; treasure those people!
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