Hairs, Hormones and Naps

When I saw this week’s Writing Prompts from Mama Kat, I knew that number five would be the one for me – “You know you’re getting old because”.  At forty-three, I’m feeling older than I ever have (imagine that!) so I must be an expert on this subject. 

The biggest sign that I’m getting old?  Napping.  When I was younger, I rarely napped during the day.  You could catch me snoozing if I was really sick or hung-over and that was about it.  Having kids opened up a whole new world of napping to me.  The second those “precious” babies would finally close their eyes and give me a break, I would dive for my bed and be asleep within minutes.  Even then, though, it had to be in my bed and it had to be quiet. 

Well, that is no more.  These days, I can pretty much fall asleep on command (or accidentally) wherever I am – rocking chair, bus, waiting room, lawn chair at the park……. usually with a book in my hand.   My ability to snooze is only getting better as I age. 

Since I turned forty, my hormones have gotten wonky.   When I was in my twenties, I admit that I thought that the moodiness that comes with PMS was “all in their heads”.  Really, there’s no reason for hormones to make you be bitchy, right?  Don’t those women have any control?  Boy was I an idiot!  Over the last several years, I’ve found my moods changing drastically over the course of the month.  I’ll be really pissed off at something and actually stop and ask “why the hell am I so angry over this?”  That’s when I’ll glance at the calendar and go “Oooohhhhh, that’s why”.    I used to think that I was immune to that but now I’m older and wiser……… or at least older. 

Of course, then there is every woman’s nightmare – the chin hairs!  Eeeeek!  I don’t exactly have a beard or anything but I get these single, dark, thick hairs that seem to sprout almost overnight.  I’ve become obsessed with checking my chin practically every day because I definitely don’t want to be one of those old ladies that walk around with stray hairs sprouting out of their faces.  When I see somebody with one, I practically do the pee-pee dance in my efforts to restrain the urge to run for my tweezers.  I’m not the most vain person around but I am very OCD about stray facial hairs on women and it makes me nuts when I find them on myself. 

My children never pass up an opportunity to let me know that I’m not young or hip anymore.  I made a joke a while back (which I can’t remember, of course, because I’m old) which I thought was pretty cool of me and The Girl just rolled her eyes.  I asked “what, you don’t think I’m cool?”  Needless to say, the answer was a sad headshake.   Sigh……. 

It’s a good thing that I’m still young at heart 

Kat