A Day in the Life of Kat

Cottage Life

2011-08-13T17:10:00.000-04:00

The kids and I spent a couple of days last weekend with my aunt, uncle and cousin at a cottage that they rented in the Eastern Townships (about nintety minutes from Montreal). It was a lovely place with all the modern amenities you could want but still only accessed by dirt road and within sight of a lake. I was so lazy that I barely took any pictures but I did get a few.

Much fishing and crawfish hunting was done by my Drama Queen and cousin (almost 16)

Also much lounging with books and newspapers

There was even a bonfire with s'mores.....mmmmmm

There was plenty of bickering between Scout Boy and Drama Queen - sorry no pics of that; not a pretty thing - and three lost passports for my family who were flying out to Trinidad for their next posting this weekend. Guess what they had to run around doing this week?

It was a beautiful, if hot, weekend and certainly a nice break from the ordinary

Kat

Haiku

2011-07-31T19:31:00.000-04:00

Between the heat/humidity we've been having and how insanely busy I've been with work, my brain has been in constant melt-down lately. Because of the gooey state of my brain, I haven't been spending a lot of time online and (as you know) no time on my blog.

I did discover something recently, though, that has caught my attention. I was reading a book recently and the subject of haiku came up. I Googled it and learned that haiku is a Japanese form of poetry that has some reference to one of the four seasons and seventeen syllables (three lines - 5, 7, 5). When it is done in English, it tends to be far more flexible as far as content and can be humourous, sad, thoughtful, etc.

I've been doing a bit of experementing with it. Okay, I'm a total amateur so please don't be too harsh.

First, with a season, just to be traditional:

Grass so green and long;
Your scent surrounds my senses
like a summer dream.

I was watching a program about sharks on National Geographic channel when this one came along (I'll take inspiration whereever I can get it!!)

Oh mighty sun shark,
with teeth so sharp and fatal;
King of his domain.

Both of the following are quite true depending on my mood.

Facebook and Twitter,
   always hungry and greedy;
suck away my time.

Facebook and Twitter,
   fascinating and social;
I give you my time.

My cousin's cat is staying with us for a while and my cat is definitely NOT appreciating this intruder. I think that story will definitely be another blog post.

Two cats in my home
   circle each other, unsure.
Who is this stranger?

I continued that theme when I met someone online recently.

Who is this stranger?
    I know him only slightly;
will there be a spark?

We seem to have attracted some fruit flies here that have been making me bonkers! (another post?)

Fruit flies so tiny,
   buzzing around my poor head;
such a busy bug!

Okay ladies and gentlemen, if you think I'm lame try not to hurt my feelings. If you think that this could be fun, show me what you've got.......haiku-wise, of course. Anything else would be kind of wierd, you know.

Kat

Yes, I'm still alive!

2011-05-29T11:57:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know, I've been absent from the blog for a little while - okay over a month - but life has been getting in the way. I have been incredibly busy at work and coming home exhausted. Just the thought of spending time on the computer or even thinking has been too much for me. I've even had to bring work home the last few weekends which so totally sucks!

Luckily my kids are old enough to help out around here; not that they like to but.....well......too bad.

The great news on the work-front is that we are moving in two weeks - yay! My boss was fed up with paying other people's bills and has taken the leap to buying a space; the first floor of a condo building. We'll have lots of storage space, ten indoor parking spots and full access to the small gym, swimming pool and hot tub. The accounting section even has its own little kitchenette! Woo hoo!!

Aside from work, this is, of course, the time of year where the winter activites wrap up for the year and the summer ones start to crank up. Two weeks ago, we had the Scouting year-end BBQ/fishing night down by the lake. The kids had a blast while their parents, exhausted from a long day at work, sat at picnic tables freezing their buns off in the cold wind off the lake. Brrr!

This week it was the Girl Guide/Brownies/Sparks year-end dinner. It was BBQ hot dogs and hamburgers but at least the dinner itself took place inside the community centre. The girls sang cute songs, some awards were handed out, yada yada. You know the story, these dinners are the same whereever you go. Like at the Scout dinner, though, the girls had fun so it's all good.

At the same time, soccer season is starting this week and there is some big news there. Stinky (my ex) is coaching our daughter's team!! He substituted once for her coach last year and got the "bug". The girls had a lot of fun with him; probably because he's not much more than a big kid himself. This should be an interesting summer!

My one piece of sad news is that I have finally made the decision to scrap my car. I love that old girl (13 years old) but just can't justify the investment that she needs to keep going. This car has chauffeured my kids everywhere, carried hundreds of loads of groceries, soccer stuff, camp gear; you name it, this car has carried it. When I took this last picture, it was early morning and the rising sun actually made her look good, hiding the rust and scratches pretty well. Good-bye my beautiful old Buick, I'll miss you.

Kat

Snakes and Boys

2011-04-17T19:54:00.000-04:00

I was reading a new post by Wendy at Are You Breathing (http://www.areyoubreathing.com/2011/04/carmel-valley-california.html) about a visit to a friend of theirs who is a vet with quite a collection of reptiles. The pictures of her boys' fascination with the snakes reminded me of a story of my own.

Yes, I am occasionally inspired by other blogs that I read. After all, aren't we all here to connect with and inspire each other?

When Scout Boy was five he went to the birthday party of one of his kindergarten classmates. This was one of his first parties so he was still at the stage where he wanted me to stay. There were several other parents that stayed too so that was fine.

(Now, at twelve, he would die a million deaths if I ever stayed at a party.....sigh)

This party took place at their house with video games, a movie, plenty of goodies......you know, the usual. The unusual part is that they had this huge snake that might as well have been twenty feet long for the chills that it sent up my spine but, in reality, was probably only about two or three feet long. (Un)Fortunately, the birthday party happened to fall on the day that the snake was due for a feeding so this became a party activity.

The mom took a frozen mouse out and warmed it in the microwave. Thank goodness it wasn't alive or I might have puked on my shoes! Once it was ready, she put the snake in an aquarium on the coffee table and called the boys up from the basement. She told them what she was doing, arranged them on the floor in a circle around the table and put the mouse in the tank.

You have never seen a dozen five/six year old boys THAT quiet for THAT long....... EVER! They kneeled in around that tank with open-mouthed, wide-eyed fascination for the entire time that it took for the snake to take in that mouse. Most of us parents sat far back, watching from a distance. Our stomachs are obviously far more delicate than our offsprings'.

When it was done, my beautiful boy, grinning from ear to ear, eyes shining, came running over to me and said "Mommy, Mommy, it ate the BUM last" followed by a fit of giggles

((SHUDDER))

Kat

So much like his dad....

2011-04-16T11:44:00.000-04:00

I am coming to the realization that Scout Boy, as he gets older, is getting to be more and more like his father. He has always looked like him but I'm starting to hear it coming from his mouth. I got an excellent example of this yesterday.

Let's back up for a second here. Last week, he asked me if I had "a USB thing" for my computer. Silly me, I thought he was asking me if it had USB ports so, of course, I said yes.

So, he came over yesterday from his dad's place to pick up something and asked me for the USB key for his school project. When I told him I don't have one, he went all red in the face, the scowl appeared and tears stood out in his eyes. That scowl was pure Stinky. This kid was seriously channelling his father.

Him - "Mommy, you SAID that you have one!"
Me - "If you had been a little more clear in your question, I would have given you the right answer"
Him - "But I WAS clear!" (followed by a frustrated growl deep in his throat)

Wait, I thought that I divorced this guy.......and how did he turn himself into a twelve-year-old? Stinky has the most terrible habit of asking unclear questions or mumbling at you as he walks away then getting all frustrated when it becomes clear that you didn't get the message.

I sent him out the door with the instruction to ask his Dad if he has one; if not, his father can buy him one. I'm generous like that ;)

He called me a while later saying that his step-mom has one but do I have Powerpoint on my computer? I said yes.......a pause...... (insert condescending tone) "Are you sure Mommy, we don't want a repeat of the whole USB thing". Huh? How did my ex-husband get on the phone?

Don't get me wrong, Stinky has many fine qualities that I certainly want our kids to inherit but there are qualities and habits that we both have that I'd rather they don't pick up. I guess that these conversations have really pointed out to me just how influential we are in our kids' lives. After all, we are their primary role models. Maybe it's time to improve some of our habits.......

Kat

Big Day for Drama Queen

2011-04-09T07:44:00.000-04:00

Well, yesterday was a big day for my little Drama Queen. She got her ears pierced. She's been playing with the idea for about a year now but kept on backing off at the idea that it might hurt. Her daddy didn't mind this a bit. You see, she's ten now and the closer she gets to her teen years the more nervous Stinky gets. The idea of his little girl growing into a young lady gives him hives. This is no surprise since this is the man who vowed to not let her date until she turned thirty-five back on the day that she was born.

Anyway, a couple of nights ago, she approached me and said that she was ready and wanted to do it. I could sense a certain firmness to her request that told me she wasn't backing down this time. I emailed Stinky get his okay and told him to talk it over with his girlfriend/partner SM (I knew she'd be on our side!). Well we got the green light and the delighted squeal that this news brought almost broke my eardrum!

Waiting until Saturday was out of the question so we trooped over after work on Friday. Well, what happened was probably the funniest thing that I've seen in ages! It started out normally enough; the lady let her choose the studs that she wanted, then sat her down to mark the spots with a marker so that the holes would be straight. Drama Queen was fine through this though she did look kind of nervous. When the lady came towards her with the piercing tool, she reached out for my hand (damn, how can I take a picture this way!) and her face totally changed. Her mouth turned down, she went pale and her eyes brimmed with tears. She was totally still since we told her to be but she looked like she was about to start sobbing as the hand with the tool took aim.

Here's the funny part; as soon as the click was heard, her whole face transformed and she busted out a HUGE smile. It was like a light switch had been been turned on. All that nervousness and fear of the unknown had been for nothing and that quick, relatively painless "click" had completely dispelled the clouds in half a second. The transformation was so fast that both I and the lady doing the piercing burst out laughing at the suddenness.

She grinned through the second piercing and hasn't stopped grinning ever since. She called her dad and step-mom and gushed the news to them when we got home. Stinky, being a guy, didn't have too much to say about the whole thing but SM made up for it, sharing her joy and enthusiasm.

Our little girl is growing up so quickly. We've done the training bra milestone and now the ear piercing one and there are so many more to come. I think that I'm ready but SM and I may have to drag Stinky along by the ears. It's worth it so see such happiness.

Kat

Don't Be Limp!

2011-04-02T11:23:00.000-04:00

I'm always looking for something interesting to write about and I was inspired this morning while reading one of my favourite blogs. If you don't already follow http://www.lolais40.com/ you really should. She's one funny lady and to prove it, she's one of the Circle of Moms top twenty-five funniest bloggers. She won that honour just this past week. Congrats Lola!

Anyway back to my own blog.....she mentioned the ickiness that is wimpy handshakes. This is a huge pet peeve of mine so I decided to expand on the topic here on my own blog. Why give someone else all the good material in their comment section, right?

There are a few types of wimpy handshake. Let's look at them:

The Finger Grasp - This is the one where they loosely hold the ends of your fingers for a split second, wiggle then drop them. What the heck was that?! It's called a HANDshake you dope, not a fingershake.

Limp Dish Rag - This is the one where you actually manage to get their hand in yours in the proper position but then they go limp. They don't grasp your hand, they don't shake it, they just let you hold this limp, lifeless thing at the end of their arm until you're ready to let go. Believe me, I let go pretty quickly!

The WET Noodle - Basically any combination of the above with enough sweat to swim in. Like, yuck!! A firm, confident handshake with a slightly sweaty hand, I can live with but there is something about the mix of sweat and limpness that makes my skin crawl.

If your handshake fits into any of these categories, PLEASE, do something about it! Your handshake gives people their first impression of you.

(Okay, your smile does too but we'll get into good oral hygeine another time.)

It tells people whether you're confident or, well, a limp dish rag. Believe me, your handshake when you meet me stays with me for as long as I know you and colours my opinion of you no matter how great a person you are. I'm funny that way so, if you know that you're going to meet me, you may want to practice cuz I know that my opinion is important to you. See how confident I am? LOL

Kat

I'm hip, aren't I?

2011-03-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

I went to a wedding reception last night. Yes, I actually went out, drank, danced and enjoyed some socializing. It shocking, I know, so I'll give you a moment to regain your composure.......

Better? Good. Where was I now?

Oh yeah, my co-worker/friend JJ got married yesterday to his very pretty and oh-so-too-good-for-him girlfriend. They are a young couple on a budget so couldn't invite everyone they've ever met to the wedding and dinner so they invited many of us to come and join them for the party after the dinner. As is to be expected, the bride was stunning and the groom really does clean up well and they were absolutely glowing.

As mentioned before, they are fairly young - well, late twenties anyway - and their friends are in the same age range. They had a cousin of hers doing DJ duty and I have to admit that I didn't recognize most of what he played. The dance music beat was the same for most of the songs and they all kind of blended together very quickly. Oh, and the volume? Ear-splitting. I soon felt kind of old

This is sad since I'm only forty-one. How do you dance to this stuff? I like to think of myself as hip, with-it, up-to-date but those illusions took a serious beating last night. My friend, PC, was showing some good rhythm for a white man closing in on fifty. Why couldn't I look like that? Okay, not the bald part but you know what I mean. Compared to him, I looked like a dying fish flopping around in the bottom of a boat (not a pretty picture!).

Despite the whole twitching fish image, I did enjoy myself and was glad to be there to congratulate the happy couple. The vodka and cranberry drinks probably helped that along ;)

Perhaps PC can give me some dancing lessons sometime. Maybe I'll get out more

Kat

It's Fun to Dream....

2011-03-15T21:10:00.000-04:00

Last week the Lotto Max grand prize was fifty million dollars and my co-workers and I decided to buy a ticket together. We don't usually do this but we figured, what the heck, why not? So we each put in five bucks and got a mega ticket with ten sets of numbers.

Now, we're not total fools; we knew that our chances of winning were astronomically low but we decided to be optomistic and go around with the attitude that we would win. That's positive thinking for you.

(No...... we didn't win. I mean, would I actually be here blogging if I had five million dollars in my bank account right now? Gimme a break! LOL)

(For my American readers, I'd like to point out that, here in Canada, all lottery winnings are tax-free and we get them in one whopping shot. Woo hoo!)

I must say that this was the best five dollars that I have spent in a very long time. My coworkers and I (nine women and one poor, hen-pecked man) had a blast All. Week. Long! We shared our dreams - what we would buy, where we would go, etc and had fun teasing each other for the crazier ideas.

We talked about cars, houses, vacations...... We talked about the half-naked butlers we'd have. You ladies know what I'm talking about; tight black pants, no shirt, little black bow-tie......mmmm.....(wipes the drool).... Our Controller (hen-pecked man) fantasized about taking a cultured lady to the ballet. Yeah, he got razzed for that one. The ballerina picture is still taped to his door, LOL

We had some fun at the boss' expense too. We all pretty much agreed that he'd have a stroke if we actually won. After all, he'd lose his entire payroll/billing/accounting department!! We joked that we'd call him down for a "meeting" Monday morning and then all walk out, leaving him to do the payroll. Then we'd call around 4:30 and say "has the pay gone out yet?" Those in the know will know just how funny that is (boy would he regret how many times he's uttered that question!)

All in all, the laughs, teasing and bonding made for a highly entertaining week and were well worth the $5 admission. The boss may not have been thrilled if we had won but he can't argue with the solid team-building exercise that this turned out to be.

So when's the next big draw?

Kat

My First Book Post

2011-03-05T13:09:00.000-05:00

Okay, I promised that I would do the occasional post about what I'm reading so consider this my first review. I'm new at this so please don't judge me too harshly :)

One note that I should make here is that I read for purely entertainment purposes. It is rare that I will pick up a work of non-fiction or (gasp!) anything educational. I spend my days in the office taxing my poor brain to its limits and reading is my little escape from reality during my lunch hour and commute. By commute, I mean by bus. Of course I wouldn't read while driving (yeesh!). I love mysteries, action-packed thrillers, some vampire/werewolf/supernatural fantasy among other things.

I recently picked up Andy McDermott's latest book, The Pyramid of Doom. I had never read one of his books before and thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, I'm one of those people who, when they find an author they enjoy, must go back and read all of their books. I'm actually pretty anal about it which is why, within days of finishing Pyramid, I was back in the bookstore buying The Hunt for Atlantis.

This book is the first in his series featuring archaeologist Nina Wilde and ex-SAS bodyguard Eddie Chase. The action starts almost right away and doesn't stop. Ten years after Nina's parents die, supposedly in an avalanche, during their search for the legendary city of Atlantis, she has been continuing their work and is hot on the trail. Unfortunately, she is not the only one and the race is on. The chemistry between the character is great and there are enough bad guys to keep it interesting. Of course, the lines between good and bad are not always entirely clear. Mr. McDermott does an excellent job of combining historical facts and legends with his own story telling to make this an engaging adventure.

Now the main characters *somehow* manage to survive through enough flying bullets, bombs and physical abuse that their survival stretches the limits of believability but if you're willing to suspend your disbelief in the name of a romping good time and a bit of escapism from real life, you'll really enjoy this book. I did.

As I'm sure you've already guessed, I'll be heading out to the bookstore again soon to get the second book in the series, The Tomb of Hercules. This is how my little home library expands with numerous series. Yeah, I'm using the term "little" very loosely here. So sue me!

Kat

Post Lunch Rants

2011-03-02T21:02:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, I returned to my desk after lunch and had a good rant about the people who ate lunch around me in the restaurant. Just in the area that I was in, I saw several people sitting at their tables, in a nice restautant, wearing winter hats and one in a baseball cap. Were these people raised in barns?! This post isn't about people in hats though - as interesting as that subject is - I'm just leading you to the rant by my coworker today.

When she returned from lunch, she said that today is her turn for a rant. She saw someone at Starbucks who got her blood boiling. DG has worked for us since last March. She's young (23) and this is her first "office" job. Before this, she had a job at the mall.

Imagine, she was born a month after I graduated from high school ...... sigh......

Okay, enough of THAT tangent!

She went to an interview a couple of days before her interview with us. This is where she met the ass that she spotted today. Now, she was a young person looking to get her "foot in the door", experience-wise, so I can understand how he might have felt that she wasn't experienced enough for the position he wanted to fill. He could have explained that he was looking for someone with more experience and wish her luck in her job search - or a version of this. This is what a nice person would do. He was not a nice person. He looked down on her and told her that all she was good enough for was a Walmart greeter job.

Oh My God!!! Can you believe that?! This jackass took her hopes, not to mention her self-esteem, and stomped on them. When we called a day or so later to book an interview with her, she almost didn't take it because she was so low on herself. I'm SO glad that she didn't follow through with that thought.

We could see right away that she was eager to learn and she had a great attitude so we gave her a chance. We have never regretted that decision. She is an absolute dynamo with an appetite for learning new things that just doesn't quit. I get tired just watching her. Of course, I'm almost old enough to be her mother so that's not surprising (yeah, that tangent again!). She absorbs everything that we teach her and takes everything in stride. I haven't found anything yet that this great chick can't handle. The fact that she has a great personality and wicked sense of humour totally secures her place in our hearts.

I asked her if she said anything to the jackass but just the sight of him had brought back the hurt feelings and she pretty much had to use her energy just to keep breathing. Truthfully, he probably doesn't even remember her but his treatment of her still upsets her a year later and will stay with her for a long time. I told her that she should shove her success up his nose if she sees him again - it may do nothing to change him but it would feel damn good!

I wish that she hadn't had to go through that hurtful experience but his loss was definititely our gain. My coworkers are my family-away-from-home and I'm glad that we took a chance and invited her to join us.

Kat

My Love List

2011-02-27T11:19:00.011-05:00

I recently received my February issue of More magazine*. Being the February issue it, of course, featured plenty of stories about love in all of its facets. One of the things that has stayed with me was the letter-from-the-editor, Linda Lewis.

She noted that stopping to remember the things/people we love can be a natural boost when our spirits are low. She and I are both on the same page in feeling that a "gratitude journal" can be a bit too "touchy-feely" (her words, but a good description) and just not something that I could get into. Linda shared her love-list with us and asked her readers to shared theirs with her. I realized that it would make a great blog post so I stopped to think about my loves. Here's my bit of sharing for today:

Apple crisp served warm on a cold day

Big Bang Theory - Bazinga!!

Cats, all cats

Doing crosswords

Eating with friends

Finding forgotten money in pockets (woo hoo!)

Green......well, green anything

Hot showers

Integrity

Jello

Kids - a certain pair who are 10 and 12 years old

Lord of the Rings - books and movies

Mimosas

National Geographic Channel

Ogling hot young guys on Crescent Street

Popping bubble wrap (c'mon, you never get too old for that!)

Quiet Sundays

Reading books, magazines, newspapers...... really anything with words in it.

Singing to my tunes

Tweeting

Unexpected compliments

Vodka

Warm blankets

X's and O's (xoxo)

Yogourt

Zzzzzzzz.....a good snooze

Kat

*I was not paid or otherwise induced by the magazine to write this. I do like this magazine and would recommend checking it out (http://www.more.ca/)

Dating Adventures

2011-02-19T13:53:00.005-05:00

I received an email the other day that kind of blew my mind. Okay, not literally or else I wouldn't be sitting here but you get my drift. Anyway, this guy that I met online shortly after I decided to re-enter the dating world a number of years back decided to contact me. I have profiles on a couple of different dating sites and he had spotted one.

His note went like this - "I see that you're still looking. If you're lonely, I'd love to get together."

Now, if I thought that he just wanted to chat maybe I'd consider it but I wasn't born yesterday (make that 41 years ago!) so I know that he's single too and looking for a "hook-up" or two or three. I just can't seem to understand the thinking behind this.

We established within a couple of months or so of meeting that I am not the woman for him and he is not the man for me. He's not a bad guy but has an intense need to control every aspect of his life - including his relationships - and I intensely despise feeling like I'm being bossed around. This is not the basis for any kind of relationship and our parting wasn't particularly friendly. Basically I told him to stop being so damned bossy and stomped out. Yeah, I know, childish but boy did it feel good!

So what does he want, a f**k buddy until one of us meets somebody? What then? "Sorry, I've met somebody so I can't screw you anymore so take care and, please, don't write" Ugh!!!

Of course, I said "no thanks"

There are days when I wish that I could take a microscope and discover the secret to what makes men tick. This, of course, would make me rich beyond my wildest imagination because every woman in the world would pay for that secret and I'd have men throwing themselves at my rich feet. Ah, to dream.......

Kat

Books, one of my loves

2011-02-19T12:34:00.013-05:00

Now that I am attempting to get back into blogging, I have been putting a lot of thought into what I want to write about. Being a single (dating), working mother of two should give me plenty of blog fodder but what about those times when life is feeling a bit boring? After all, it's those dry spells that made me fall out of the blogging habit to begin with. Okay, I admit I'm also not exactly talented in the self-discipline area either - I mean, look at my full inbox (no actually, don't do that - scary!)

The answer came to me when I was browsing through various blogs the other day. I found a few that were dedicated to reading - book reviews, author interviews, etc. Talk about a perfect fit!! I am a voracious reader. It's rare that I leave home without reading material and, when I do, I feel totally naked so I try not to do it. NOBODY wants to see me walk down the street naked (sorry for the mental picture) LOL!

My love of reading goes back to when I was sixteen. I borrowed The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub from a friend at the pool and it was like fireworks went off in my brain. I hadn't been a big reader before that but I couldn't put this book down. It was a huge, epic novel that consumed my days until I finished it but I was so totally hooked that it didn't matter.

After that, I started hitting the bookstore and consumed every other book that Stephen King had ever written. From there I branched off to other authers and, with this, a book lover was born - okay re-born. Chapters has me listed as one of their most favourite people or they should considering what I spend there, LOL.

The plan is to write some posts about what I'm reading, have read and want to read. I guess those posts will be part review and part peek at what's occupying my mind at the time - if you dare to look into that scary place, that is.

Kat

What's with these guys?!

2011-02-18T22:34:00.006-05:00

I just don't get it. I've been divorced for a while now and I'm quite ready to invite someone new into my life. I started the whole dating process a few years ago so you would think that I'd be happily settled with Prince Charming by now, right? HA!! As if.....

It's as if commitment has become a dirty word. I hear things like "let's keep it casual" or "just looking for someone to hook up with now and then". Huh?! We're not talking about twenty year olds here. I'm forty one and looking for someone at least as mature as I am but I'm having a hard time achieving that goal. Do these men not need love in their lives?

I met one guy who was different last fall. I'm talking about a man who was actually looking for a real relationship. Hallelujah!! We got along really well, enjoyed spending time together and were REALLY compatible in the bedroom (woo hoo!). Sound great doesn't he? Of course he does.......but.....wait for it......the reason he was looking for a relationship is that he was looking for someone to make babies with! I am SO over the babymaking thing. I have two already - 10 and 12 years old - and I do not intend to add a third. Oh well, another one down the drain....

You may be wondering what started this rant. Well, I met someone this week who seemed nice and we were definitely attracted to each other but - get this - he doesn't want an actual relationship with someone who is divorced with kids. It goes against his Catholic-Italian family's values. What?!! Oh, but he wouldn't mind getting together to fool around when my children aren't around. Oh. My. F***ing. God!! Needless to say, I said "goodbye" pretty darned quickly to this schmuck. I wish him luck finding a decent woman our age who has absolutely no marriage or child bearing history.

I haven't given up on the male of our species quite yet. My libido won't let me. I'm sure that there must be one BBW loving guy out there who's looking for a loving relationship who would be honoured to join my little family. He's out there; I just have to wade through a few dozen duds to get to him and you can bet that I'll tell you about the more interesting ones!

Kat

2011-02-17T12:28:00.007-05:00

I know that this is shocking but, yes, here I am twice in one week! I even amaze myself sometimes, lol. You see, I'm on vacation, the kids are with their dad this week and I'm feeling pretty darned well rested. This means that I've been spending oodles of time farting around on the internet; Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. - the list goes on. In keeping with my decision to get back on the blog-wagon, I have spent some of that "valuable" internet time giving my blog a new look. I've changed the background to something a little brighter (that brown was SO depressing!) and I've added a list of many of the blogs that I follow. Those that had buttons for me to grab have their button here and those that don't are listed. I hope that you'll check some of them out.

The other reason that I am feeling so chipper (please don't be jealous) is that we are having a glorious day here. It is mild, sunny and I even have windows open (heat is off, of course!). The fresh air streaming into my decidedly stale apartment is like medicine for the soul. Days like this are hard to come by in Montreal in February. Even my cat tiptoed out onto the balcony. Her days of delicately perching on the warm heater are definitely numbered! Yes, that pic above is her doing her balancing act on the heater. As small as she is, she still has to keep one foot down to keep from tumbling off; how can that be comfortable?

Anyway, I've been in a bit of a funk lately but this small whiff of spring has lifted my spirits better than anything else ever could except maybe some nice chocolaty brownies........mmmm, brownies........maybe I'll do a little baking this afternoon ;)

Kat

I'm back......at least I'm trying to be.....

2011-02-15T11:13:00.004-05:00

I haven't written a post since last May. I don't really have a good excuse for being away. I've kind of been drifting along, not quite knowing what to write about and, perhaps, feeling a little depressed about my "normal" life. I mean, who would be interested in me? I work, take care of my kids and try to take some "me" time where I can. This is not the stuff of exciting or witty tales. If I can't be amusing, what's the point? As you can see, I haven't been feeling very "up" these days.

I have, however, been (sort of) keeping up with reading several of my favourite blogs. It is one of these that has inspired me to come back to my blog. This is the blog of @SnglMomSurvives on Twitter called Single Mom Survives. She went through a traumatic surgury recently and, when she returned to her blog, she poured her heart out to us. When I read those posts, I didn't laugh once, I wasn't excited by her exploits; instead I was touched. I could feel her emotions and my heart went out to her. I commented on her posts telling her that I adore her and gave her what encouragement I could.

This is when a lightbulb went on in my head. I realized that I don't always have to be witty or have an exciting story to tell in order to connect with people; I just have to be honest. I realized that I enjoyed writing my blog and that it made me feel good; all the benefits of therapy without the bill at the end! So here is my goal; I intend to get back on the horse (so to speak) and start writing again. I won't promise to produce something every week and I can't promise to make you laugh every time. Let's face it, I don't always feel like laughing myself. What I do promise, to myself as well as to my (few) readers, is that I will definitely keep it real. If I can make you laugh, great. If I can make you think, great. If I can do nothing but make a connection or two, that's good too. All I know is that the "little voices" in my head are telling me to try this again.

It's too late to call this a New Year's resolution (which we never stick to anyway) so let's just say that I'll try a little harder, okay?

Kat

First Date

2010-05-09T10:21:00.004-04:00

It has been quite a while since I sat down to write. I know, I promised to try to blog weekly but I haven't quite managed it (not at all!!). I get plenty of ideas but it's always when I don't have the time or energy to do it. I know that it's a matter of forming good habits but I've never been known for good habits (lol). I suppose that I haven't had the right motivation to write up until recently, that is.

I had a rather nice "first date" last weekend. Woo hoo! Trust me, this is a momentous occasion. It's not that I never have a date, although they are kind of few-and-far-between, it's the quality of date that was nice. It's amazing how many guys out there literally only have one thing on their mind. These guys want to hop in the sack on the first date! Never mind getting to know me or forming a friendship or anything like that - let's have a drink then get "down to business". Yeesh!

I met this guy online. I've enjoyed meeting a few nice people that way since I don't hang out in bars too much and, besides, who wants to pick someone up in a bar when they're compromised by booze. Trust me, I am not a good girl when corrupted by vodka! We corresponded for a couple of weeks before meeting and liked what we heard so decided to meet for coffee (tea in my case). This is all we did; we talked, got a look at each other and walked away with a smile.

The best part is that we are still talking and he is definitely interested! I always worry about meeting a new person, you see, because I'm not exactly a classic beauty. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ugly but I am overweight and it takes a special guy to see my beauty and appreciate it. It seems that he is that kind of special guy.

We're going to take it one day at a time, starting out as friends (with benefits) and dating and see where it goes. We both have kids (his are older) and he is working six days a week right now so we're going to keep it light and fun for now.

That's more than enough for me right now and has me walking around with a goofy grin on my face. Hell, he's even motivated me to get back to my blog. It's a miracle!

Kat

So We're Not Perfect!

2010-03-02T20:56:00.004-05:00

The following text was sent to me in an email today. You know, those emails that get passed from friend to friend to friend and so on.... I don't know the origin of it so, unfortunately, I can't credit the original author but I thought that it was worth repeating.

"As expected, the 2010 Olympics have been subject to much criticism by some countries (the UK in particular) and by some of our own media and others - as if something this large could ever be perfect. The following commentary says it all so well.

We never claimed to be perfect
That means we've learned to be humble
We say excuse me and I'm sorry...as well as please and thanks
Even when it's not our fault WE apologize

Sure, one arm of the torch didn't rise
But when the earthquake struck Haiti, Canadians raised
their hands to say...."we'll help"

And yeah, there is a fence around the torch
But you can walk right up and shake hands with our prime
minister and most famous Canadians

We put Gretzky in the back of a pick-up, in the rain, not
surrounded by police....and he was okay
And by the way...The Great One is Canadian....
and HE wasn't complaining!

We do have security at the games, of course, but most
people don't even HAVE a gun they have to leave at home

The medals ARE under lock and key but our doors and
our hearts are open to the world

It has been pointed out that some buses broke down last
week....but let's not overlook the fact that our banking
system didn't

We didn't get the "green ice maker" right this time....but
we will, eventually

Just like we did when WE invented the zamboni

Citius altius fortius

If you don't reach higher how do you get faster and
stronger

Was the first quad jump perfect?
Should we not have given snowboarding to the world "in
case" it didn't take off?

So big deal...one out of four torch arms didn't rise. Good
thing we had 3 more! It's called contingency planning!

But remember...the Canadarm works every time...in
outerspace....and insulin turned out to be okay

We couldn't change the weather but maybe we can help
stop to stop global warming

We don't have the tax base of the US or the power of the
Chinese but, per capita, we ponied up for some pretty
kick-ass venues in the worst global recession ever

Sure, some folks couldn't afford tickets but our health care
is universal

We have shown the world that we can raise our voices in
celebration and song but moments later stand in silence to
respect a tragic event...together...spontaneously...and
unrehearsed.

What's more, we don't need permission from anyone to
have a slam poet, fiddlers with piercings and a lesbian
singer tell our story to the world while our multilingual
female Haitian-born, black head of state (Governor General) shares
a box with her first nations equals

We've shown the world that it doesn't always rain in
Vancouver, that you can strive for excellence but not get
hung up on perfection
And we've learned what it feels like to be picked on by
some no-name newspaper guy and we don't have to take
it lying down!

So the point is not the snow or the hydraulics or a couple
of guys being five minutes late to a ceremony

We know we're lucky that these are the biggest problems
we had to deal with in the last couple of weeks

Se take your cheap shots...Guardian newspaper and
cynics of the world

We're bigger and better than that.

What's more, we're finally starting to believe it!

Do you believe?
I Do!!!"

Kat

A Time of Pride and Tears

2010-02-13T13:16:00.004-05:00

This is a time of great pride for Canadians. We enjoyed watching the Olympic torch make its way across the country in the longest domestic torch relay in Olympic history. It was carried by proud Canadians from all walks of life and cheered by thousands in every city and town. My children's school took the kids to watch it go by and they came home absolutely beaming with excitement. It made me a little jealous that I was stuck in the office that day. They get to do all the cool stuff :(

I came home yesterday in a great mood, it was Friday after all, and excited to watch the opening ceremonies. That smile turned to tears so very quickly when I turned on the news. The death of Georgian luge athlete, Nodar Kumaritashvili, was at the top of the news; as incredibly sad as it was shocking and left me in tears. These young men and women shed blood, sweat and tears for years to attain the chance to compete in the Olympics. Nodar was taken away on the eve of that dream coming true; a cruel fate that sent us all reeling.

This wasn't the only time my eyes were wet last night though. When the Georgian athletes arrived with their black armbands, when the Canadian athletes proudly marched in (okay, wet eyes AND a big, goofy grin), when the national anthem was sung and even when the cauldron was lit, despite the technical difficulties.

I even had a few good laughs following my friends' tweets during the broadcast. Even when I'm watching an event alone, I'm never quite alone when I'm tweeting. No matter what event, Grammies, Super Bowl or Olympics, there are always some great one-liners and lively conversation zinging back and forth; almost as much fun as the event itself. I'm quite looking forward to the Oscars!

It was a night of emotions that went from one extreme to another in a very short period of time. The Olympics seem to have that effect on all of us whether we are into athletics or not (in my case, not). I suppose that it's a matter of national pride. I don't mean the "national pride" that people drag out when debating hot-button topics but the kind that we feel when we see the fresh, young faces of our athletes coming together with their counterparts from other countries to compete for glory in their chosen sport. This is something that's worth holding your head high for.

Kat

Caution: 40th Birthdays May Lead to Hangovers!

2010-02-06T13:18:00.004-05:00

My morning greeting

A couple of drinks into the evening

Me and DJ Chick

PC showing me his talented tongue! (no it doesn't stand for Politically Correct; far from it!)

Yes, I know, I resolved to do a post-a-week and I failed that last weekend. In my own defense, I spent half of last weekend hung-over from my Friday night birthday celebration. I had way too much fun!

I don't usually do much for my birthday but, since it was my fortieth, I figured that I should mark it somehow. My coworkers/friends thought the same thing. I arrived at work that morning to a sign on my computer screen and I was surprised with a cake and a chorus later on. I even received a couple of nice gifts (smelly stuff and a gift card for my favourite book store). I don't tend to seek the spotlight. As a matter of fact, I'm usually the one in the corner as far from the spotlight as humanly possible. I could feel my cheeks burning the whole time but still loved it!

Anyway, I marked the event by inviting everyone to join me for drinks after work where my SIL, DJ Chick, and her friends D and Elvis joined us. Well, a few drinks turned into getting home at 2:30 am but it was a blast. It was DJ Chick who gave me a kick in the ass and got me to do something for my fortieth and I'm eternally grateful to her for it. We had many shots, made fun of the poor band (not their fault; lousy sound system), learned how to "tongue" the alphabet from PC and mocked a couple of the more arrogant bar patrons. Would you believe that there was a guy who looked like Fabio - a much older Fabio, mind you?! Ew!! There was even a guy who asked DJ Chick to feel his package (no not Fabio). I didn't get that lucky (*rolls eyes*) but I guess I can't have everything.

I am very lucky, though; I've got friends and family that make life worth getting out of bed for. People that will gladly come out and drink a toast (or two or three) to me, an ex-husband who, without hesitation, gave up his Friday night to take our kids as well as DJ Chick's daughter (his niece) so that I could get out and celebrate, a mother who makes me a bit crazy but is always generous and there for me, and the list goes on.......

The next day, I asked on Twitter if anyone would believe me if, given how I was feeling, I said that I would never drink again. The answer was an emphatic "NO". Yeah, you're right, I don't believe it either.

Kat

One of "Them"

2010-01-23T19:21:00.003-05:00

I spent some time scrubbing down my kitchen today and clearing the clutter and came to a realization. I'm now one of them! You see, there was a time (pre-children) that I would go to friends' homes and see cupboards with seven or eight open boxes of cereal and think "why in the world does anyone need that many boxes of cereal?" I thought that it was ridiculous and vowed that I would never be one of "those" mothers.

I started out really well. When my kids were small, I would buy one box of cereal and we would eat that until it was gone and I would buy another. Very sensible of me, right? Well, this went on for a while but, as the kids got a little bigger, they started developing their own likes and dislikes. I held out for a while, making them agree on just one cereal to buy. Eventually though, the bickering got to be too much and I thought to myself "it wouldn't hurt to let them each choose one, would it?". Yes, I talk to myself all the time; it helps the thought process.

Well, my friends, that was the on-ramp to the slippery slope to becoming one of "those" mothers. As you can see in the pic above, I found six open boxes of cereal today, four boxes of which only had about two inches each of cereal in them! After a bit of consolidation, I brought them down to two boxes. I should hear a good amount of squawking from the young ones the next time they pour from those boxes!

My one consolation is the knowledge that I'm not alone. I'm sure that there are many of us; one big, happy, cereal hoarding club. LOL

Kat

Time for Reflection and Change

2010-01-17T12:24:00.005-05:00

Since starting this blog last August, I haven't really shown a knack for posting regularly. You can just call me Ms. Procrastination. You know, "I should really do this but, well, maybe I'll do it tomorrow". I am a master at this; not just with my blog but in all aspects of my life.

The fact that I am hitting the big 4-0 in a couple of weeks is really making me stop and take a look at my life and how I manage it. Usually, I see age as just a number and don't pay much attention but this milestone is really hitting me in a way that I never expected it to. Taking a good hard look at my life, I can't say that I really like what I see. Don't get me wrong, I have two wonderful, healthy children that I wouldn't trade for anything and a solid job that allows me to give my children a decent life and I am thankful for these things. The part that I don't like is far more personal; something within myself.

I always put off or run away from anything remotely uncomfortable be it dealing with a financial problem, an issue with a family member, or something more mundane like housecleaning (dusting is the bane of my existence). I have a tendancy to take the easier path which explains why I have too many pounds on my booty, clutter in my path and stay home far too much rather than put myself out there meeting new people. Heaven forbid I risk rejection!

On a positive note, I have been making some effort at getting out of my shell. Joining up with Twitter and actually interacting with people that I've never met is a huge step for me. The impact of the positive feedback that I feel there has been immense. Look at me, I even started a blog! For someone as intensely private as I am, that is pretty damn amazing! Who knows, I may even go out and meet new people face to face next ;) Will wonders never cease?!

I have never been one to make New Year's resolutions but I think that it's time to make a "life" resolution this year, the year of my fortieth birthday. It's time to get my life in order; improve my finances, strengthen the friendships in my life, clean out the clutter, spend more quality time with my kids....maybe even find someone to fill the empty side of my bed. I also resolve to post on this blog at least once a week. Maybe I'll use it to chronicle this "year of self-improvement".

It'll be interesting to see where these lofty goals take me. For now, I think that I'll start slowly by washing the dishes and getting my son moving on that project he has due at school. Baby steps......

Kat

Accentuate the Positive!

2009-11-21T18:41:00.002-05:00

There is something that I've been noticing lately. We all seem to almost revel in pointing out the negative things about other people. At work, we talk about other coworkers' weaknesses; mistakes, absenteeism, attitude, etc. With family and friends, don't we all engage in gossip? You know, how person A slighted person B; this person is jealous of that one; lack of housekeeping skills; those horrible cookies she made last week; oh, and don't get me started on HER haircut! As parents, we have the horrible habit of comparing others' parenting skills to our own (unfavourably, of course!).

Why do we do this? Do we really feel better when we put other people down? I believe the idea is to build ourselves up by pointing out the weaknesses of others. Why then, do I always feel a bit crappy after engaging in this behaviour? When you build yourself up by tearing others down, that tower that you put yourself on is really pretty darned rickety. After all, look at the foundation that you've built it on. Maybe that crappiness that I feel is seasickness from the swaying of my tower. Mmmmm....

This behaviour is so common that we have a hard time taking a compliment. When someone says something nice about me or my kids, I blush and get totally speechless; fumbling through (hopefully) graceful thank yous. Why are we so shy about complimenting each other? How hard is it to tell someone that they are doing a good job, have great style, are a good mom...

This evening I said something nice (and true!) to one of my Twitter friends who was feeling the blahs. She responded with a "thanks" and let me know that she hadn't been fishing for compliments. Since when is turning to friends when you are feeling down fishing for a compliment? When you are down, your friends (even just Twitter friends) are supposed to be there for you pointing out the things that lift you up. That's what we are there for.

Maybe if we make the effort to find something positive to say to someone, friend or stranger, each day our own personal towers will have stronger foundations. Now, that would be something to feel good about.

Kat

What a week!

2009-11-15T11:09:00.004-05:00

Wow, has it really been three weeks since I last did a blog entry?! I've been so busy lately that my online presence has been spotty at best. I've been spending some down-time this weekend letting my Facebook and Twitter friends know that I really am still alive. I am totally behind on my blog reading too although I just had a really good laugh at @WhyIsDaddyCryin's blog about pink duck's day out (http://www.whyisdaddycrying.com/). That man is just too funny and boy did I ever need that laugh after this week!

My little Drama Girl was down with a nasty little bug last week and, of course, generously passed it on to me. It's amazing how, when they get sick, they look pitiful for a few days, then are bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to face the world again. They pass that same bug on to their poor parents and those poor adults are down for a week (or more). Anyway, after lying around all last weekend, I decided that I would drag my poor, sorry butt to work on Monday (talk about a work ethic) and went to check my bank balance online because I wanted to hit the drugstore on the way.

Imagine my surprise when, instead of being greeted by a healthy balance waiting for my rent cheque to pass, I found that $500 had been withdrawn from my account. This wouldn't be so bad if it had been ME who made that withdrawal! A phone call to my bank's security division revealed that they were already on it (they are definitely good) and I would get my money back in seven to ten days but, until then, I was on my own with a couple of cheques floating around out there just waiting to pass through my account. Eeek! Luckily, I have a pretty decent ex-husband who, when he heard of my dilemma, offered to loan me the money. Thanks to Stinky, both of those cheques passed through my account without a hitch. I owe him a BIG favour! (again, eek!)

My work-week wasn't much better. I just couldn't do anything right and spent most of the week trying to keep under my boss' radar; something that I mostly succeeded at, thank goodness! I don't think that I could have taken a lecture in my frame of mind. My stress levels had me kinda high strung and I even had an eye-twitch to prove it. I pretty much stuck to my corner, coughing and feeling pretty darned miserable. Of course, after a start like that, could I really have expected this week to be a good one? When 5:00 came on Friday, I couldn't get out that door fast enough.

I may not be able to redo last week but, hopefully, this coming one will get off to a better start. I think that I'll go bake some cookies; you know, nudge things in the right direction

Kat

p.s. the bug that my daughter passed on to me was just a good old fashioned cold so, please, don't lecture me about spreading the swine flu around....oink, oink (oops!)

Getting the Shakes Here!

2009-10-18T10:29:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning thinking that this would be a typical Sunday morning. I made a cup of tea, checked my emails then typed in www.twitter.com expecting my home page to come up and show me what my Twitter friends are up to this fine day. Instead, I get this Google screen that says "Oops! This link appears to be broken". Huh?!

Okay, Kat, don't panic....it'll be fine. I try to link up to Twitter from a couple different angles with the exact same results. Now I'm starting to sweat. No Twitter? I'm not sure that I can handle it; after all, it's my biggest addiction. I don't even have any chocolate in the cupboard to soothe myself! The shakes are starting.....

An hour later, I still can't get onto the site. This is getting serious! I've had such a busy week that I haven't been able to spend much time online so I really need a hit!

It's amazing how powerful these connections become in our lives. I don't think we realize how powerful until they aren't there. If I miss my online friends this much when they aren't there, imagine if those that I know and love around me were to disappear. I think that we all need to be reminded of this now and then. We are all so busy with our everday lives that we don't always remember to appreciate those that make our everday lives bearable.

Maybe I'll use this Twitter downtime to make a couple of calls; you know, connect with a few people.

Kat

Thank You Stinky

2009-09-27T09:13:00.002-04:00

Last night we had a big joint birthday party for our kids. Their birthdays are about two weeks apart and two parties so close together are exhausting so we decided to try a new route this year. It worked out really well; no drowning, no bloodshed and plenty of smiling faces on departure. Phew! The other thing that happened last night is that I was reminded of what a great dad my ex-husband is. Watching him doing cannonballs off the diving board, looking like a drunk walrus and thoroughly entertaining the kids, I realized that I have a lot to be thankful for.

Now, don't get me wrong, he is my EX-husband for good reasons which I'll save for another post; perhaps when he pisses me off (muah-ha-ha-haaa). Since our split he has, however, truly stepped up to bat as a father. At first, I put my hurt and anger aside for the kids' sake in order to be able to parent them with him but, working in this new form of partnership, we actually managed to rediscover our friendship. This has an awful lot to do with his behaviour.

I hear about so many dads who don't exercise their visitation right, who don't make their child support payments or who move on to their "new" families without looking back and find myself so grateful. Stinky and I have shared custody, each of us having the kids every other week and he has never failed to take them when he is supposed to. He also takes his financial responsibilies very seriously; never missing any payment and even giving a little extra help when I've been a bit short.

He also has the most amazing girlfriend. He and SM have been together for three years now and I couldn't ask for a better step-mom for my kids. She is loving, attentive and has a family that has accepted my kids as two of their own. She has become a great third partner in this parenting team. I know, the ex-wife isn't supposed to get along with her ex's current lady so well but SM and I do really well. We respect each other and rarely "step on each other's toes". When that does happen, we all get along well enough to be able to say it and deal with it. The three of us can be seen at all sporting events, music concerts and celebrations.

I know that this blog entry hasn't been humourous and I hope that I haven't bored anyone to death but I guess that I just needed to express what is on my mind this morning. I see so many blogs and hear so many stories about dads that fall down on the job that, for once, I thought it might be nice to put something out there that is positive.

Thank you Stinky, for being who you are.

Kat

New Things On The Horizon

2009-09-18T21:17:00.004-04:00

Today, I bought my son a cel phone. Many people have said that so you wouldn't think that it's a big deal but, in this case it is. It is the beginning of a new era in this family. You see, he is turning 11 in a week-and-a-half and is in Grade 6. This means that he will be starting high school next year and his father and I have decided that it's time that we started giving him more responsibilities and freedom.

Next year, he'll be taking public transit to go to school, travelling on his own; not being driven to school to hang out in daycare like he has for the last six years. This will be a huge change so we've decided to get him used to this by letting him walk home from school (with his sister) rather that stay at daycare until I get home from work. This will mean two hours on their own during which I expect them to do their homework. We'll only be doing this on the kids' weeks with me since their father lives further away from the school, making the idea unfeasible for his weeks. Call it the big experiment in freedom.

Now, Scout Boy is totally thrilled at the prospect of this and can't wait for Monday to come. His mother, on the other hand, is suffering acid reflux at the idea. Don't get me wrong, both of my kids are very responsible and are totally not the type to play with matches or throw wild parties (not yet anyway...) but I'm a mother and it's my job to worry. Hence the purchase of a cel phone to be able to call me. You see, I dumped my land-line almost two years ago because I was tired of paying for a cel phone AND a land line when I barely talk on the phone enough to justify one phone line. I figured that I would revisit the whole phone idea "once the kids are older". How did that time come so quickly?!

It seems that, just yesterday, he was a toddler vying with his new baby sister for my attention. Now he's almost as tall as I am (his dad's 6'2" and he's heading there too, I think) who does so much without me now. I'm so proud that he is mature and responsible enough for me to be able to even consider this. It means that Stinky and I have done a pretty darned good job as parents. There is, though, an undeniable ache in my heart that makes loosening those apron strings so very tough. Well, maybe I won't have to loosen them too much. After all, I've got his number on my speed dial.

Kat

Happy Birthday Drama Girl

2009-09-11T22:05:00.004-04:00

This is a day of conflicting emotions for me. This is the day when everyone who is old enough to remember September 11, 2001 stops and remembers. We remember where we were, what we were doing, how we felt and the endless news footage and newspaper stories that kept the horror alive long after the actual events of that day. It is to my generation what JFK's assassination was to my parent's generation; a day of grief, shock and horror that shook not only a nation but the world to it's foundations.

The reason for my conflict is that it was also my daughter's first birthday. A momentous occasion in any child's life but more so for Drama Girl. You see, we had a health scare with her when she was five months old that left us briefly (thank goodness) afraid of actually losing her. So you see, her first birthday should have been a day of joy and thankfullness for our beautiful little girl and her (thankfully) healthy big brother. I'm afraid that, on that day, the poor birthday girl had competition for our attention that she, frankly, couldn't compete with.

Since that year, though, I have always made sure that she is front and centre on her big day. I feel that if I spend her every birthday wrapped up in 9/11 memorials and asking "Where were you that day?", then the terrorists that sought to break our spirits will have scored a few more points. Therefore, I have taken back that day for my little Drama Girl who turned 9 years old today. We stayed up and made Rice Krispie treats for her class last night and we went out for supper tonight. Her thrilled smile when she opened the presents that I gave her was a blessing for this tired mom's heart.

I have no intention of ever forgetting the events of eight years ago that shook the world but I will not let them eclipse all that I have to live for today.

Kat

Me-time

2009-09-06T11:36:00.003-04:00

When I started this blog last month, I set myself the lofty goal of writing approximately twice a week. Hah! I always have wonderful intentions but then life gets in the way. Last week, I was Soccer Mom/Scout Mother chauffeuring my ever-grateful children (yeah sure!) everywhere they needed to go on top of my busy workdays. This week, my work schedule was so packed that I was actually kind of grateful that the kids were at their dad's place. I came home each night and pretty much flaked out. As you can imagine, my place looks like a bomb hit it since no actual housework has been done in a while. I guess that I'll be starting that after I finish typing this.

You may be wondering "Kat, where is your Me-time?" and you'd be quite right to wonder that. I wonder sometimes myself. I did manage to slip in a nap yesterday afternoon after running errands. Of course, I was so pooped from my week that I couldn't keep my eyes open so it was probably a good thing that I let myself collapse for a bit. The problem is that I don't really consider a nap to be Me time. A period of unconsciousness may be good for the body but it does nothing for the soul.

Did you notice that I use a capital "M"? This is a measure of how important I think it is. We all need some time in our lives, whether fifteen minutes or two hours, that we devote entirely to ourselves on a regular basis. Time in which we only think of our own pleasure and nobody else's. The way we put this time to use varies as much as we vary from each other: reading a good book, soaking in a bubble bath, chatting with a friend on the phone, going shopping/out for coffee/out for drinks/jogging, catching up with friends on Twitter/Facebook/MySpace with a glass of wine (or two or three), blogging, etc.

When I don't eke out enough Me-time from my schedule, I get cranky and out-of-sorts and can't be the mother/friend/coworker that I want to be. I've spoken to mothers who feel guilty about dumping the kiddos on a sitter or their spouse and escaping to do something as "selfish" as enjoy some time on their own. That's bullshit! You're not doing those around you any favours if you don't find time to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. Of course, since I'm so nice, I find a nicer way to say it than that ;)

I've just spent a while catching up with Twitter, my own little addiction, and writing this blog so Me-time is over for now but I feel so much better for it. It's time to go tackle that mountain of laundry and make the floors shine. Who knows I may eventually attain that lofty goal of two blogs a week but, for now, maybe I'll just strive to stop when I can, pour a glass of wine and start typing without stressing about how many days it's been since the last time.

Kat

Back to work

2009-08-25T21:18:00.002-04:00

I returned to work yesterday after two weeks vacation and, believe it or not, I feel like I never left. After only two days back, that familiar twinge just over my right shoulder is back. My friend, Billie, and I call it our stress muscle. When things aren't going well, you'll see us reaching back and massaging the spot. It's not quite bad enough to bring out the eye-twitch but close (my mother can bring out my eye-twitch within an hour but let's save that story for another day).

Within an hour of arriving yesterday, my coworker, Wild-One (yes, it's apt) walked out the door in tears. Huh?! I don't know what the problem was but I'm told that we probably won't see her for the rest of the week (maybe longer). Unfortunately, this isn't new. She's got a lot of issues at home that she has no problem bringing to work with her. She even took three months of stress leave last year (are we heading back down that road now? ugh!). Don't get me wrong, she's a friend and I do have sympathy for her but even that is getting harder and harder. I mean, so many of her issues are solvable but she just can't seem to bring herself to the point of doing it. How long am I, and our coworkers, supposed to be sympathetic toward her and when are we allowed to get angry at her for the stress she's giving us?

Our coworker, Mrs. Byw, greeted me yesterday with stories of how Wild-One pretty much just put all the work on her plate while I was gone, totally stressing her out. I must ask, exactly was Wild-One doing at her desk that whole time?! Mrs. Byw was so glad to see me! I swear, the only thing keeping me from running away for another vacation immediately is the thought of her puppy dog eyes watching me go. I'd never be able to live down the guilt!

At times like this, I really envy those who can work from home. I know, it would mean the loss of that lovely(?) regular paycheque and benefits (what few there are) but at least the only person affecting my work would be ME! I don't know if I would have the discipline to stick to an efficient schudule if left entirely to my own devices but I still find myself dreaming about it sometimes. Office politics have never been my friend and, if given free reign to deal with some of the stupid s**t I see around me, it wouldn't be pretty. It's probably a good thing that I'm not the boss! I may not always agree with him but I surely don't envy his position.

My next vacation is when?!

Kat

Sibling Rivalry

2009-08-19T13:00:00.003-04:00

Thank goodness that today is a better day than yesterday. The high heat and humidity have broken and there is even a cool little breeze blowing in the open windows (phew!). What a vast difference twenty-four hours can make. Yesterday at this time, the air was so thick with humidity that it was hard to breathe, every movement guaranteed trickles of sweat down my back (eeew!) and tempers were flaring. It was one of those days, as a mother, when you can't wait to escape your children and belt down a drink or two or three, you get the idea.

Don't get me wrong, I love my children and would lay down my life for them but last night's escape from them for dinner was exactly what the doctor ordered. We've been on vacation together for a week and a half now, much of it with the above mentioned weather and the fighting between Scout Boy and Drama Girl hit a peak yesterday that had my eye twitching and brought out the Psycho Mom in me. Psycho Mom escapes from her cage once in a while when my little "darlings" manage to drive Normal Mom into hiding. Yesterday was just such a day.

Growing up an only child truly did not prepare me for being the mother of siblings. The competition over everything can be so intense (bring out the magnifying glass to count those sprinkles NOW) and the bickering can start at ANY time. Yesterday, it looked like they spent all their energy on finding things to fight about. Yet there are times when they play together like the best of friends. Sometimes the trip from friends to bitter fighting happens so fast that their poor mother is left with whiplash.

I like to hope that, as they mature, the friendship side of their relationship will prevail and that what we are experiencing now is nothing more that the normal growing pains of their slow trip to self-discovery and independence.

For now, though, I'll just be sure to keep Psycho Mom on a short leash and always keep an escape route to a good vodka-cranberry open.

Kat

Beating the Heat!

2009-08-16T21:38:00.002-04:00

Most of this summer has been kind of crappy, weather-wise; rainy, cloudy, BLAH! The only thing that I wasn't complaining about was the temperatures. With all that rain, most of this summer hasn't been nearly as hot and humid as it usually gets here. Did you notice that I say that I "wasn't complaining"? Just when I decide to take some vacation time with the kiddos, guess what........the clouds part, the sun comes out and the temps skyrocket! It's been so hot and humid that you break out in an ugly sweat just contemplating it. Ugh!

This means that I am left to find ways to beat the heat. I do have a small air conditioner so we have spent a fair bit of time just chilling out at home. Not really a bad way to spend vacation time but cabin fever does tend to set in. This usually manifests itself in the "delightful" sounds of fighting between my darling children. They haven't actually come to blows yet but my fear of that eventuality has driven me from my beloved a/c a few times.

One day was spent shopping; much to the chagrin of my poor bank account (& I do mean poor!). Back to school shopping for two kids who seem to have grown out of everything that they own is an expensive and torturous ordeal; especially when you need to have them with you to try things on since you don't know what darned size they've grown into now. Add to that groceries and car parts and my debit card was smokin! On the bright side, I did manage to buy a couple of paperbacks. Woo hoo!

We also spent some time at my (ex)sister-in-law's pool with her and her daughter, String Bean (you've never seen a nine yr old girl as long and lean as this kid). While the kids splashed around, calling out several "Watch me, Mom"'s, I sat back with DJ Chick and had a good old fashioned girl talk (ie bitch-fest). The only thing that would have improved it would have been a great bottle (or two) of wine. We'll save that for another time when young ears aren't around to hear (record) us!

I still have this week to go for vacation and am hearing rumours of thunderstorms to come which may just drop those temps a bit. Oh please, give me some rain for my vacation, I'm begging!!

Kat

Introduction - Part 2

2009-08-13T16:10:00.005-04:00

Well, after posting my first blog entry, the sky did not fall and I wasn't sacrificed in the arena of public opinion for my amateur efforts so my first-time jitters have subsided. Phew! My mind has been filled with ideas for subject matter and creation of nick-names for my unfortunate (I mean lucky!) family, friends and coworkers who will be mentioned.

A lot of blogs that I see seem to have a particular theme: parenting, education, career, particular hobbies, etc. I see mine as being a mix of just about everything, just like my life. I'm a mother, office worker-bee (blech!), single woman looking for love, voracious reader, lover of good food (yes, I know, a bit too much) and so much more. Writing strictly about any one subject would give a very lopsided view of my life and make understanding my point of view on anything rather difficult. The easier I make it to understand how my poor, complicated brain works, the happier we'll all be!

In my first entry, I introduced my kids. I suppose that I should explain the names that I have chosen for them.

My son, who turns eleven next month, has just graduated from Cubs to Scouts and he absolutely loves it. He's not really into sports, although he does play soccer in the summer, so I'm glad that he's found a group activity that he really enjoys; hence the name Scout Boy. He just came back from his first week-long camp with a huge smile, a story of a dissected seagull (for ecology time), a bag of stinky clothes and his (destroyed) shoes duct-taped to his feet. If that's not what being a boy is all about, I don't know what is!

My daughter, who turns nine next month, absolutely shines when she manages to take center stage. Everything that happens in her day is something that she must relate to you with breathless enthusiasm; hence the name Drama Girl. Last week, at daycamp, she choked on her morning snack badly enough that one of the monitors had to help her. They called to inform us of this since it kind of shook her up a bit and it's a darned good thing they did. At least her poor father had some prior warning when he picked her up that night. When she got into the car with him and his girlfriend she very solemnly announced that "I almost died today" and "When we get home, we need to get out the calendar and mark it down so that we don't forget". Oh boy!

Speaking of their father, my ex-husband, you'll probably hear plenty about him. We are very much equal partners in raising our kids and are still a big part of each other's lives because of that. Besides, the big goof is always a good source for amusing stories which I'm sure that I'll pull out when I need a good laugh. He'll be known by his nickname, Stinky. Yes, it is a well-earned name (eew!); one that his softball team bestowed on him long before I even dreamed of starting a blog!

I think that I've managed to introduce myself pretty well in these first two entries and hope to entertain and inspire knowing nods from those who stumble across my blog as I learn more about this wonderful medium. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and engaging in a dialogue with those of you who do stop by.

Kat

My very first entry

2009-08-11T17:03:00.004-04:00

Where do I start? I guess that I'll start with telling a little bit about myself. I am a single mother living in the Montreal area with two children: Scout Boy (almost 11) and Drama Girl (almost 9). No, these are not the names on their birth certificates (eek)! I have a full time job (more on that later) that leaves me with a decent paycheque but is not really all that fulfilling. You know, the whole work to live, not live to work thing. I am divorced and get get along with my ex and his girlfriend pretty well. The kids alternate weeks between the two of us.

As for the boyfriend situation, it's not exactly where I want it to be. I go on the occasional date and have met a few nice men but it seems that nobody is looking for an actual relationship. Have you ever gone on those singles websites? Most of the men are looking for a discreet relationship (in other words they're married!!!) or for casual dating. The one man that I have met who is different is from around here but is currently living in New York. I absolutely adore C and he is totally hot and sexy but the entire relationship is conducted by email. Not exactly ideal; I mean, I have NEEDS!!!

You see, I've been examining my life an awful lot lately and finding it to be lacking. I guess the fact that I'm closing in on forty is the main reason for this. Don't get me wrong, my life isn't bad. I mean, really, it could be a whole lot worse but I feel like I need to add a new dimension to it.

Since joining Twitter, I have been discovering many great blogs that I have started tracking and have been bitten by the bug. I am a voracious (sp ?) reader and have always dreamed of writing. Unfortunately, I have the imagination of a toad. I'm a whiz with numbers, hence my job in payroll, but not very artistic. This makes fictional story writing a bit tough. Blogs are different though. They are an expression of what is happening around us and within our own hearts; our experiences, opinions and our desire to share all of the above in hopes of enriching not only our own lives with the feedback from readers but perhaps the lives of others going through the same things that we are.

Since I am so new at this and have yet to tell my family/friends/coworkers about my new venture I, obviously, have not obtained permission from the above mentioned to use their names here. Therefore, I will use nicknames or initials for those that I talk about to protect their privacy as well as to keep from embarassing them with my amateur fumbling here. As I become more practiced and have polished my talent a bit, I may actually tell someone I know about this. We'll see......

Kat