I had to laugh when I saw Mama Kat’s writing prompt for this week – write a list of 10 reasons why you could not be a real housewife from any county. I like to think that I get a passing grade as a mother but housewife? That’s one test I would definitely fail!
-First of all, I’m not even a wife; I’m an ex-wife. Ex-wives can’t even pretend to be housewives if they want to pay the rent and actually eat unless they score an excellent settlement in the divorce. Sadly, I didn’t.
-One word: dust. The rich housewives that you see on television who have maids and most other, normal, housewives for that matter wouldn’t be caught in a dusty house. I hate dusting. Hate! It! It only happens when I’m having company and want to somewhat impress them. Even then, the effort is really only half-assed. The dust bunnies under my bed all have names……
-I’ve never actually seen any of those “Real” Housewives shows but I they look like the type who “Do Lunch”. Unless meeting at Tim Horton’s for a sandwich and doughnut qualify, I’m not sure that I’d make it past auditions.
-I had a boyfriend in my (way) younger days whose mother actually ironed her sheets. Is that still a thing? If so, I am a failure. My kids consider themselves lucky if the sheets are washed regularly.
-Are organized cupboards a requirement? I have a couple of kitchen cupboards that threaten to vomit their contents if you pull out the wrong thing. My sister-in-law commented that they make great booby-traps. Sadly, she wasn’t wrong.
-The only things that I have successfully kept alive are my kids and cat; only because they make noise and get my attention. No plant has ever entered my home and survived. I took a chance this spring, however, and bought some herbs and a pot of flowers for my balcony. I’m hoping that being outside where Mother Nature can see them will give them a fighting chance.
|Wish them luck!|
-Having a job outside of the home, I’ve been known to take shortcuts at supper time. A good example would be the frozen hamburgers and fries that I whipped up the other night. That doesn’t happen every night, of course, but it’s been known to happen with at least some regularity. Would this change if I was a housewife? Maybe, maybe not……...let’s be honest, probably not.
Okay, I can’t think of ten things. I bet that one of those Real Housewives could easily think of ten reasons why I’m not one of them. I bet that a normal, ordinary housewife in suburbia could also flesh out this list pretty easily too. See, I can’t even make lists like they can! (ooh, that’s the ninth thing!)